So many things to write, so little time, so little head space to even attempt to put coherent thoughts down.
I asked my friend Paola yesterday if it was the first of the month, since she was going in to do payroll. "Yes, Amy" is what she replied, "It's December 1st tomorrow". And then we laughed and laughed and laughed. So that's basically where I am at right now.
A few days ago I asked Jace to pass me my phone so I could check what time it was. He picked it up and pushed the button then put his index finger to his lips and said "Hmmm, I think it says it's time for me to watch Super Why on your phone". That is an exact time, in case you didn't know.
If I sit down at the table to eat any meal, automatically Winnie starts crying. This morning while sound asleep in her bouncy chair, Jace walked by holding a small pumpkin and out of nowhere lost his grip and dropped it on her. Literally, on her. She didn't even move, just kept sleeping away. I mean, what the fuck Winnie?
We were given the book called "The True Story Of The 3 Little Pigs" which is the story of the three little pigs from the wolfs perspective. We have had it for awhile but it was hidden on the book shelf so we hadn't read it. Maizey found it and chose it as her bed time story, it is a fantastic book, if you haven't seen or read it, go find it! Anyways, in the book the wolf claims that he is trying to bake a birthday cake for his Granny and needs to borrow a cup of sugar, which is why he is knocking on the pigs doors. Well, the third pig denies him the cup of sugar, tells the wolf not to bother him again AND yells at him "AND YOUR OLD GRANNY CAN SIT ON A PIN". I finished the story and closed the book when Maizey turned to me with tears running down her face. She was so sad that they wouldn't give him the sugar and that the last pig told him that his granny should sit on a pin. My postpartum hormones just can't handle things like that, so obviously, I started to cry too. What an asshole pig.
I had planned to post some pictures, so obviously Winnie just woke up. Oh well, I suppose there is always next week.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Sunday, November 2, 2014
SOLD!
Ten years ago we moved into this house.
We were 21 year old kids that couldn't afford to hook up both cable AND internet, so we had to choose one or the other. We went with internet. Two months after we moved in we ran out oil, which was how the house was heated and we scraped together the minimum we needed for the guy to come and put some in. It was a cold two days before he came. There was a constant flow of people through the door. We woke up many mornings with friends passed out on the couch that were not there when we went to bed the night before. We had big renovation plans to take out a wall between the only bedroom and a little tiny room beside it. We watched "Friends" on a never ending loop on VHS, then on DVD, which is obviously how we learned to speak entirely in "Friends" quotes.There were New Years Eve parties, botched halloween mowhawks, the infamous raw garlic night, the shoes hanging from the power line out front, drink all day days ( we were kids. what can I say?!), Canada Day bbq's. So many memories. So much laughing.
We partied a lot. One night on our walk home from the bar we came across a lost and lonely Coopers shopping cart so naturally I climbed in and Brian pushed me home. That shopping cart sat in our carport for years - we talked often about loading it up and taking it back, but for some reason never got around to it. Then we ripped the carport down and the cart got moved to behind the shed. It sat there for three more years. In the meantime, Coopers got new shopping carts so we couldn't return it. This past spring when readying the house to be listed, we put it in the back of the truck to take it to the dump. All the time I cursed that cart and the fact that it was still laying around here, but when it came time to unload it at the dump I was over come with emotion. It was one of the last reminders of one of the funnest times in my life and leaving it in the metal pile marked the real end of an era.
purely out of nostalgia, I climbed in at the dump. My husband was equal parts more in love and completely embarrassed. haha
We poured every cent and all of our blood sweat and tears into this house.
We got engaged in this house, we got married in this house, we brought all our babies home to this house.
bringing Maizey home
bringing Jace home
bringing Winnie home
We watched first steps and heard first words here. We spend sleepless nights in this living room soothing crying kids.
We put up a tiny little Charlie Brown Christmas tree our first Christmas here as a couple and this year we will put up our final one in this house as a family of five.
A sold sign went up on Friday afternoon.
I know I should be happy, and eventually I will be, but for now, I can barely say the words without feeling weepy.
The truth is we outgrew this house a long time ago. We have been bursting at the seams for years. We need to move on, but I am just so shitty at change and this is a big one.
We bought it as broke twenty something year old kids.
We sold it as (a little) less broke thirty something year old family.
I am really going to miss this place.
We were 21 year old kids that couldn't afford to hook up both cable AND internet, so we had to choose one or the other. We went with internet. Two months after we moved in we ran out oil, which was how the house was heated and we scraped together the minimum we needed for the guy to come and put some in. It was a cold two days before he came. There was a constant flow of people through the door. We woke up many mornings with friends passed out on the couch that were not there when we went to bed the night before. We had big renovation plans to take out a wall between the only bedroom and a little tiny room beside it. We watched "Friends" on a never ending loop on VHS, then on DVD, which is obviously how we learned to speak entirely in "Friends" quotes.There were New Years Eve parties, botched halloween mowhawks, the infamous raw garlic night, the shoes hanging from the power line out front, drink all day days ( we were kids. what can I say?!), Canada Day bbq's. So many memories. So much laughing.
We partied a lot. One night on our walk home from the bar we came across a lost and lonely Coopers shopping cart so naturally I climbed in and Brian pushed me home. That shopping cart sat in our carport for years - we talked often about loading it up and taking it back, but for some reason never got around to it. Then we ripped the carport down and the cart got moved to behind the shed. It sat there for three more years. In the meantime, Coopers got new shopping carts so we couldn't return it. This past spring when readying the house to be listed, we put it in the back of the truck to take it to the dump. All the time I cursed that cart and the fact that it was still laying around here, but when it came time to unload it at the dump I was over come with emotion. It was one of the last reminders of one of the funnest times in my life and leaving it in the metal pile marked the real end of an era.
purely out of nostalgia, I climbed in at the dump. My husband was equal parts more in love and completely embarrassed. haha
We poured every cent and all of our blood sweat and tears into this house.
We got engaged in this house, we got married in this house, we brought all our babies home to this house.
bringing Maizey home
bringing Jace home
bringing Winnie home
We watched first steps and heard first words here. We spend sleepless nights in this living room soothing crying kids.
We put up a tiny little Charlie Brown Christmas tree our first Christmas here as a couple and this year we will put up our final one in this house as a family of five.
A sold sign went up on Friday afternoon.
I know I should be happy, and eventually I will be, but for now, I can barely say the words without feeling weepy.
The truth is we outgrew this house a long time ago. We have been bursting at the seams for years. We need to move on, but I am just so shitty at change and this is a big one.
We bought it as broke twenty something year old kids.
We sold it as (a little) less broke thirty something year old family.
I am really going to miss this place.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Meet Winnie
The snuggliest of all the snugglers.
Already too big for her sleepers.
Quietest sleeper in the history of ever.
The biggest of all three, but still so tiny.
Longest fingers and tiniest feet.
The most hair that is super dark. (Weird).
Six hour stretch sleeper.
The cutest little tiny sigher.
Longest eyelashes.
The sweetest baby sister.
Winnie James
8lb 3oz
20 inches
October 7, 2014
Absolutely perfect.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Three Years Old
Dear Jace,
Three years ago right now, I was going on 13.5 hours of labor. I was tired of waiting. I wanted to meet you. I still had five hours to go....
I blinked and these last three years went by. Every day you reveal more of the little man you are going to be and shed more of the little boy that you are.
You started pre school a few weeks and yesterday I got to go and spend the day with you there. It was truly amazing to see how you are when you are there. You can be soooo rotten at home and to me and Dad and Maizey, but the little person I saw I at school was nothing like that. You listened, did as you were asked, took part in the singing and circle time. You used kind words and shared and played so well with your classmates. I have noticed a real change in you over the last few weeks and now I can say that I have preschool to thank for that. Maybe it gave you something that is all yours and that has caused this change, maybe it's just having time away from us.... I don't know, but seriously Buddy, you are doing SO well at it. I could not be more proud of you.
Just for a second, back to the part where you are so rotten. One day I hope you will have an answer for me as to why you act like this, but seriously, why do you scream at me (us)? Why do you pretty much NEVER do as I ask? Why are you so freaking defiant? I think you want a reaction from us, that's why you do it, so I (we) really try our best not to give you one, but sometimes, it's just too hard. I keep telling myself it's just a phase. I hope so, we are really ready for it to be over.
The times when you are not being bad? You are so fun! You make us laugh with a raise of your eyebrows, your "blinking", your attempts to sing songs and quote movies. You don't get them right, but it is so cute and so hilarious to see you sing so seriously. Your current favorite song is 'Thats What Makes You Beautiful' by One Direction. Your favorite line in the song goes "the way you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed" - your version? "flips over gets on your web" sang at the absolute top of your lungs. I need to try and sneak a video of it, it is so great. I bet we listen to that song 15 times a day. You want it played over and over and over.
Your friend Deken has a bit of a Batman obsession, and loves to wear a Batman costume all the time. A few weeks ago, you started pretending to be Buzz Lightyear, jumping off everything you could, yelling 'TO INFINITY! AND BEYOND!" and asking to watch the Toy Story movies every single day. Well, Deken just happened to have a Buzz costume as well, and a few days ago while at his house, Deken put on Batman and you put on Buzz. I almost died at the cute. When it was time to go, you had a fit over taking the costume off and Paola graciously let you borrow it. It is the first thing you ask about in the morning and the last thing you talk about at night. You are obsessed, just like your friend Batman. I mean Deken. The two of you can be super heros together.
You still eat a lot of apples. You help yourself to any that are in the fruit bowl. You are a constant eater these days actually, except at dinner... then you make me feed you like a baby. You eat nonstop until I want you to eat, then you refuse. You aren't picky and for the most part, really enjoy everything I give you. Besides apples, your other favorite is hummus. Hummus with everything, even just on your finger straight out of the bowl when I'm not looking. Off the top of my head, the only thing I can think that you actually don't like eating at all is sour cream.
There is no one you would rather play with than Maizey. When the two of you are jumping on the trampoline, or making cookies out of mud, or running your homemade obstacle course, you have so much fun together. When you aren't pushing each others buttons, you are totally little best friends. I love listening from a distance when you guys are having so much fun together.
It took you almost all of the last year to master holding two fingers up, just in time to start needing to hold three up, but that one you've already got down pat. You have so been looking forward to your birthday and have been announcing to us for weeks that it was your birthday. You listened well enough to us, to be able to tell people that you were two, almost three. It was super cute to hear you copy that. You wanted a rocket ship cake, but my expert cake making skills seriously lacked in the rocket department, so Dad designed a rocket ship out of m&m's on the top of the cake and you LOVED it. I'm assuming the idea came from wanting to be Buzz Lightyear and I'm so glad Dad pulled through for you.
I honestly can hardly believe three years has gone by since you were born. You have brought so much love and laughter to our family. With the arrival of your new baby brother or sister coming very soon, I am noticing just how much of a baby you are no longer. You have been a bit indifferent about the idea of a baby ever since we told you, but the last month or so you have started to take an interest in my belly and what is inside it. You like to sit beside me and rest your hand waiting to feel a kick, but truth be told you don't have the patience to wait for one. You give the baby kisses and hugs even though you often remind us that you don't care for kisses or hugs anymore. I am so looking forward to watching you as a big brother, I think you are going to be great!
Happy 3rd Birthday Buddy. We love you so much and can't wait to see what this next year brings for you. Keep making us laugh, and just for fun, every now and then, could you just do as I ask? Please?!
Love, Mom and Dad
Three years ago right now, I was going on 13.5 hours of labor. I was tired of waiting. I wanted to meet you. I still had five hours to go....
I blinked and these last three years went by. Every day you reveal more of the little man you are going to be and shed more of the little boy that you are.
You started pre school a few weeks and yesterday I got to go and spend the day with you there. It was truly amazing to see how you are when you are there. You can be soooo rotten at home and to me and Dad and Maizey, but the little person I saw I at school was nothing like that. You listened, did as you were asked, took part in the singing and circle time. You used kind words and shared and played so well with your classmates. I have noticed a real change in you over the last few weeks and now I can say that I have preschool to thank for that. Maybe it gave you something that is all yours and that has caused this change, maybe it's just having time away from us.... I don't know, but seriously Buddy, you are doing SO well at it. I could not be more proud of you.
Just for a second, back to the part where you are so rotten. One day I hope you will have an answer for me as to why you act like this, but seriously, why do you scream at me (us)? Why do you pretty much NEVER do as I ask? Why are you so freaking defiant? I think you want a reaction from us, that's why you do it, so I (we) really try our best not to give you one, but sometimes, it's just too hard. I keep telling myself it's just a phase. I hope so, we are really ready for it to be over.
The times when you are not being bad? You are so fun! You make us laugh with a raise of your eyebrows, your "blinking", your attempts to sing songs and quote movies. You don't get them right, but it is so cute and so hilarious to see you sing so seriously. Your current favorite song is 'Thats What Makes You Beautiful' by One Direction. Your favorite line in the song goes "the way you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed" - your version? "flips over gets on your web" sang at the absolute top of your lungs. I need to try and sneak a video of it, it is so great. I bet we listen to that song 15 times a day. You want it played over and over and over.
Your friend Deken has a bit of a Batman obsession, and loves to wear a Batman costume all the time. A few weeks ago, you started pretending to be Buzz Lightyear, jumping off everything you could, yelling 'TO INFINITY! AND BEYOND!" and asking to watch the Toy Story movies every single day. Well, Deken just happened to have a Buzz costume as well, and a few days ago while at his house, Deken put on Batman and you put on Buzz. I almost died at the cute. When it was time to go, you had a fit over taking the costume off and Paola graciously let you borrow it. It is the first thing you ask about in the morning and the last thing you talk about at night. You are obsessed, just like your friend Batman. I mean Deken. The two of you can be super heros together.
You still eat a lot of apples. You help yourself to any that are in the fruit bowl. You are a constant eater these days actually, except at dinner... then you make me feed you like a baby. You eat nonstop until I want you to eat, then you refuse. You aren't picky and for the most part, really enjoy everything I give you. Besides apples, your other favorite is hummus. Hummus with everything, even just on your finger straight out of the bowl when I'm not looking. Off the top of my head, the only thing I can think that you actually don't like eating at all is sour cream.
There is no one you would rather play with than Maizey. When the two of you are jumping on the trampoline, or making cookies out of mud, or running your homemade obstacle course, you have so much fun together. When you aren't pushing each others buttons, you are totally little best friends. I love listening from a distance when you guys are having so much fun together.
It took you almost all of the last year to master holding two fingers up, just in time to start needing to hold three up, but that one you've already got down pat. You have so been looking forward to your birthday and have been announcing to us for weeks that it was your birthday. You listened well enough to us, to be able to tell people that you were two, almost three. It was super cute to hear you copy that. You wanted a rocket ship cake, but my expert cake making skills seriously lacked in the rocket department, so Dad designed a rocket ship out of m&m's on the top of the cake and you LOVED it. I'm assuming the idea came from wanting to be Buzz Lightyear and I'm so glad Dad pulled through for you.
I honestly can hardly believe three years has gone by since you were born. You have brought so much love and laughter to our family. With the arrival of your new baby brother or sister coming very soon, I am noticing just how much of a baby you are no longer. You have been a bit indifferent about the idea of a baby ever since we told you, but the last month or so you have started to take an interest in my belly and what is inside it. You like to sit beside me and rest your hand waiting to feel a kick, but truth be told you don't have the patience to wait for one. You give the baby kisses and hugs even though you often remind us that you don't care for kisses or hugs anymore. I am so looking forward to watching you as a big brother, I think you are going to be great!
Happy 3rd Birthday Buddy. We love you so much and can't wait to see what this next year brings for you. Keep making us laugh, and just for fun, every now and then, could you just do as I ask? Please?!
Love, Mom and Dad
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Old Maid
The last two days we have been playing a lot of Old Maid. A LOT. Obviously Jace doesn't know how to play, but he is happy to sit beside me and hold the pairs that I pass him. He calls every stack of cards he holds "three dollars" and thinks that getting the Old Maid is super exciting. Maizey giggles the whole time, I think she feels like she's pulling a fast one on him since he likes getting the Old Maid. Last night after dinner, they sat at the kitchen table and she tried to teach him how to actually play and I listened with one ear while doing the dishes. She is so patient, it kills me. If only I had a fraction of that patience. Every time she told him to pick a card from her hand he asked her to point out which one was the Old Maid. She would giggle and tell him she couldn't say and that he had to just pick one. He was a bit let down every time he didn't get it and very excited when he finally did. The game fell apart after a few short minutes and the cards were left scattered all over the table and floor. Still listening with one ear, Jace followed Maizey around the house with the Old Maid in his hand telling Maizey that he "loves the Old Maid" and "She not a super spooky bitch. She a nice bitch" . I was suddenly listening with both ears! Um, what the??? Oh, you mean WITCH??
I didn't correct him, he has a habit of saying the word you don't want him to say, even more when you tell him not to. Plus, I know he was just making a mistake and he really does know the word is WITCH.
I laughed and laughed, quietly to myself.
I didn't correct him, he has a habit of saying the word you don't want him to say, even more when you tell him not to. Plus, I know he was just making a mistake and he really does know the word is WITCH.
I laughed and laughed, quietly to myself.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Preschool Time For Jace
Today was Jaces first day of preschool. If you know Jace, you know that at any given second he can be excited about something or 100% against it - no matter how exciting it is. The lead up to today has been exactly that - one minute he is so excited to go, the next he is arguing that he isn't ever going and that its only Deken that is going actually. So I wasn't exactly sure how today was going to go.
Him and I argued for almost the whole two hours we were up this morning before we had to leave for school. About everything. Breakfast, clothes, shoes, tv.... you name it, we argued about it. I kept silently reminding myself that soon, very soon, I was going to get a break from him and the arguing. We got out the door and to the school on time. He marched ahead of Maizey and me to the door and I had to call him back outside to take a picture.
This morning, at that moment, he was sooo excited. Walking down the hall to his class he started to get a bit nervous and reached for my hand, which has happened exactly zero times in his whole life. He was suddenly nervous, I felt it in his grip. I happily obliged to the hand holding. We hung up his sweater and backpack, showed him the bathroom and then he sat down at the play dough table. I took a few pictures and we said goodbye.
He barely even looked at us. We walked out the door and my eyes filled with tears. My baby is old enough for preschool. It kills me. I held the tears in until the truck and then I couldn't stop them. I'm inclined to blame my ridiculous pregnant hormones. I wondered aloud why I was crying when all I wanted all morning was a break from him. He can be such a little shit and he yells at me ALL. THE. TIME. but really, no matter how crazy he makes me, I am going to miss him. My Buddy, it's going to be so quiet and so much less messy when he isn't home all morning, it's hard for me to imagine it.
He was exhausted when we picked him. He was pretty chatty and filled us in on what he did. He's going to like school and eventually, I'm going to like dropping him off there.
Happy 1st day of school, Buddy. Can't wait for you to start bring home messy art projects and hand made Mothers Day cards.
Him and I argued for almost the whole two hours we were up this morning before we had to leave for school. About everything. Breakfast, clothes, shoes, tv.... you name it, we argued about it. I kept silently reminding myself that soon, very soon, I was going to get a break from him and the arguing. We got out the door and to the school on time. He marched ahead of Maizey and me to the door and I had to call him back outside to take a picture.
This morning, at that moment, he was sooo excited. Walking down the hall to his class he started to get a bit nervous and reached for my hand, which has happened exactly zero times in his whole life. He was suddenly nervous, I felt it in his grip. I happily obliged to the hand holding. We hung up his sweater and backpack, showed him the bathroom and then he sat down at the play dough table. I took a few pictures and we said goodbye.
He barely even looked at us. We walked out the door and my eyes filled with tears. My baby is old enough for preschool. It kills me. I held the tears in until the truck and then I couldn't stop them. I'm inclined to blame my ridiculous pregnant hormones. I wondered aloud why I was crying when all I wanted all morning was a break from him. He can be such a little shit and he yells at me ALL. THE. TIME. but really, no matter how crazy he makes me, I am going to miss him. My Buddy, it's going to be so quiet and so much less messy when he isn't home all morning, it's hard for me to imagine it.
He was exhausted when we picked him. He was pretty chatty and filled us in on what he did. He's going to like school and eventually, I'm going to like dropping him off there.
Happy 1st day of school, Buddy. Can't wait for you to start bring home messy art projects and hand made Mothers Day cards.
Friday, August 29, 2014
FIVE.
Dear Maizey,
I love that you are five years old. You have been anxiously awaiting this big year for months and I am so excited for you to get to say that you are five now.
I also can't believe that you are five years old.
I also want to freeze time and make you stay this age forever.
You start kindergarten next week (maybe. as long as the teachers aren't on strike anymore) and that blows my mind. What will my day be like with you gone six hours of it? And five days a week? I can't even guess how much I will miss you, but I know it will be a lot. You are soooo excited to start school - particularly to pack a lunch and get to be in the same classroom as Peyton was in last year. I know you are ready for this huge milestone, to step out of the comfort zone of the friends that you have and the people you know and meet new ones, the ones that you decide you want in your life, rather than the ones that we have placed in your life for you. You have been doing so much practicing to get ready for this, practice writing all the words you know, sitting at "desks", reading, packing lunches. I am promising you right now that I will be a weepy mess on that first day, but it's just because I will miss you and I am thinking about how it will affect ME. I KNOW it's going to be fantastic for you and I just can't wait to watch you thrive once you get there.
You cannot wait to be a big sister again. We talk about it all the time, all the things you are going to help with (getting diapers and snuggling the baby are at the top of your list) and how great of a big sister you are going to be to this baby. When we discuss possible names, you are definitely part of the discussion and while we don't always agree with the names you come up with, we give you the most points for creativity. Snow and Princess Magical Sparkle are two of your favorites to mention. We are going to pass on them, but thanks for your help! You remember what it was like when Buddy was born and Nannie brought you to the hospital and we talk about what that was like, all the time. You are curious as to whether it will be like that again, who will bring you, what will Jace be like, what will the baby look like, will you get to hold him/her? You are really hoping for a girl and I know that is just because you want to dress her up in pretty clothes, because that is your favorite thing to do. I am so excited to get to watch you do this all over again, you were wonderful to Buddy and I know you will be just as wonderful to the new little one.
You still LOVE dresses and dressing up. We cannot keep up with how many dresses you need... there is no reason (in your mind) to ever wear anything but. Today, you changed out of four different dresses throughout the day. Also, you would really rather if I wore dresses every day as well. Ahem. We could not be more different when it comes to this.
A few of your current favorite things - riding your bike, chewing gum, playing office, drawing pictures of our family, making check lists, picking the neighbors berries and having tea parties. Also, planning fake parties....you are always asking me to help you make decorations and send out invites and it always take a looooot of convincing that the party is fake and that we aren't actually inviting anyone. It's not always easy for you to get that part. If this keeps up, one day you are going to be such a good host.
There are very few words that you mess up anymore and to me, that is one of the saddest parts of you growing up. I miss the days of efelant (elephant) and too-traws (chopsticks). You are very communicative and most of the time use nice words and polite phrasing to tell us (and your friends) what you want and how you are feeling. Even to Jace and he is sometimes the furthest thing from nice to you, yet you still talk so nicely to him. I hope this is something you will hold on to forever, but I am not naive enough to think that when you develop a bad attitude, that the politeness will stick around, but still... I can hope!
We asked you today if you wanted to go pick out a flower all for yourself at the flower shop and you were super excited to go. On the way there we were discussing what kind to get and you could not settle on just one. So you chose a daisy, a sunflower and a dandelion. I explained that dandelions are weeds and don't come from the flower store so you changed your mind to a red rose because "I just can't believe I have never seen a real red rose in real life before". The girls at the flower shop made you up the sweetest little vase with a light pink daisy, a small sunflower (your choice) and a real red rose, which sat on the coffee table while we ate our sushi for dinner and watched Hercules - your choice for dinner and your choice for the movie. You were feeling pretty grown up I think, and I'm not gonna lie, I was feeling the same. *sniff sniff*
Um, today - we went to the park and you did the monkey bars. The whole thing. You were on them by yourself and when we noticed you were doing it, Dad ran over to try and get it on video, so we caught part of your first time across. We are so proud of you. They aren't easy and way to go on being brave enough to take that big step and trust your strength to take one hand off and get started.
Four years old has been a great age for you. You have been incredibly helpful, you rarely get in trouble, you do everything by yourself and with very little direction. You are a great eater and you go to bed super easy. You have really thrived as a four year old. You are still one of the sweetest, kindest and most honest little girls that I know. I love your easy going attitude and your adventurous heart. I am looking forward to the great things you are going to do and the even more amazing little person you are going to become this coming year.
Some days I wish I could just follow you around videoing everything you do. These moments and days are so fleeting and you are changing to much, I don't want to forget any of this, yet it is impossible to keep up. Your mannerisms, the hilarious things you say, your crazy bed head and your smile with the now crooked little bottom teeth. I want to remember all of it. I don't know how we got so lucky to be your parents, but we are thankful every day that we get to be.
I am so looking forward to the amazing year we have ahead of us.
We love you, baby girl, Missy, Meem. SO much.
xo,
Mom and Dad
I love that you are five years old. You have been anxiously awaiting this big year for months and I am so excited for you to get to say that you are five now.
I also can't believe that you are five years old.
I also want to freeze time and make you stay this age forever.
You start kindergarten next week (maybe. as long as the teachers aren't on strike anymore) and that blows my mind. What will my day be like with you gone six hours of it? And five days a week? I can't even guess how much I will miss you, but I know it will be a lot. You are soooo excited to start school - particularly to pack a lunch and get to be in the same classroom as Peyton was in last year. I know you are ready for this huge milestone, to step out of the comfort zone of the friends that you have and the people you know and meet new ones, the ones that you decide you want in your life, rather than the ones that we have placed in your life for you. You have been doing so much practicing to get ready for this, practice writing all the words you know, sitting at "desks", reading, packing lunches. I am promising you right now that I will be a weepy mess on that first day, but it's just because I will miss you and I am thinking about how it will affect ME. I KNOW it's going to be fantastic for you and I just can't wait to watch you thrive once you get there.
You cannot wait to be a big sister again. We talk about it all the time, all the things you are going to help with (getting diapers and snuggling the baby are at the top of your list) and how great of a big sister you are going to be to this baby. When we discuss possible names, you are definitely part of the discussion and while we don't always agree with the names you come up with, we give you the most points for creativity. Snow and Princess Magical Sparkle are two of your favorites to mention. We are going to pass on them, but thanks for your help! You remember what it was like when Buddy was born and Nannie brought you to the hospital and we talk about what that was like, all the time. You are curious as to whether it will be like that again, who will bring you, what will Jace be like, what will the baby look like, will you get to hold him/her? You are really hoping for a girl and I know that is just because you want to dress her up in pretty clothes, because that is your favorite thing to do. I am so excited to get to watch you do this all over again, you were wonderful to Buddy and I know you will be just as wonderful to the new little one.
You still LOVE dresses and dressing up. We cannot keep up with how many dresses you need... there is no reason (in your mind) to ever wear anything but. Today, you changed out of four different dresses throughout the day. Also, you would really rather if I wore dresses every day as well. Ahem. We could not be more different when it comes to this.
A few of your current favorite things - riding your bike, chewing gum, playing office, drawing pictures of our family, making check lists, picking the neighbors berries and having tea parties. Also, planning fake parties....you are always asking me to help you make decorations and send out invites and it always take a looooot of convincing that the party is fake and that we aren't actually inviting anyone. It's not always easy for you to get that part. If this keeps up, one day you are going to be such a good host.
There are very few words that you mess up anymore and to me, that is one of the saddest parts of you growing up. I miss the days of efelant (elephant) and too-traws (chopsticks). You are very communicative and most of the time use nice words and polite phrasing to tell us (and your friends) what you want and how you are feeling. Even to Jace and he is sometimes the furthest thing from nice to you, yet you still talk so nicely to him. I hope this is something you will hold on to forever, but I am not naive enough to think that when you develop a bad attitude, that the politeness will stick around, but still... I can hope!
We asked you today if you wanted to go pick out a flower all for yourself at the flower shop and you were super excited to go. On the way there we were discussing what kind to get and you could not settle on just one. So you chose a daisy, a sunflower and a dandelion. I explained that dandelions are weeds and don't come from the flower store so you changed your mind to a red rose because "I just can't believe I have never seen a real red rose in real life before". The girls at the flower shop made you up the sweetest little vase with a light pink daisy, a small sunflower (your choice) and a real red rose, which sat on the coffee table while we ate our sushi for dinner and watched Hercules - your choice for dinner and your choice for the movie. You were feeling pretty grown up I think, and I'm not gonna lie, I was feeling the same. *sniff sniff*
Um, today - we went to the park and you did the monkey bars. The whole thing. You were on them by yourself and when we noticed you were doing it, Dad ran over to try and get it on video, so we caught part of your first time across. We are so proud of you. They aren't easy and way to go on being brave enough to take that big step and trust your strength to take one hand off and get started.
Four years old has been a great age for you. You have been incredibly helpful, you rarely get in trouble, you do everything by yourself and with very little direction. You are a great eater and you go to bed super easy. You have really thrived as a four year old. You are still one of the sweetest, kindest and most honest little girls that I know. I love your easy going attitude and your adventurous heart. I am looking forward to the great things you are going to do and the even more amazing little person you are going to become this coming year.
Some days I wish I could just follow you around videoing everything you do. These moments and days are so fleeting and you are changing to much, I don't want to forget any of this, yet it is impossible to keep up. Your mannerisms, the hilarious things you say, your crazy bed head and your smile with the now crooked little bottom teeth. I want to remember all of it. I don't know how we got so lucky to be your parents, but we are thankful every day that we get to be.
I am so looking forward to the amazing year we have ahead of us.
We love you, baby girl, Missy, Meem. SO much.
xo,
Mom and Dad
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Preschool Graduate
I have been super MIA here lately.
Our life is busy, hectic and totally exhausting right now.
SO.... this happened.
Aaaannddd.... then I cried.
Just kidding, I had basically been a weepy mess since we walked into the school that morning, this just made the weeping turn into the ugly cry.
If there is anything Maizey is good at though, it's being the exact opposite of me. She was happy, so excited and not even a little bit sad. So, I mostly hid the tears and smiled and hugged her and took pictures of her with her friends and her BFF teacher (who even if Maizey won't admit it, she is going to miss soooo much!!) (luckily that teacher will be Jaces next year, so we will still see her!)
first day of school September 2013
(omg this picture cracks me up!!)
last day of school June 2014
Its a big and exciting milestone and she is so ready to move on...
I just wish I felt the same. *sob*
Our life is busy, hectic and totally exhausting right now.
SO.... this happened.
Aaaannddd.... then I cried.
Just kidding, I had basically been a weepy mess since we walked into the school that morning, this just made the weeping turn into the ugly cry.
If there is anything Maizey is good at though, it's being the exact opposite of me. She was happy, so excited and not even a little bit sad. So, I mostly hid the tears and smiled and hugged her and took pictures of her with her friends and her BFF teacher (who even if Maizey won't admit it, she is going to miss soooo much!!) (luckily that teacher will be Jaces next year, so we will still see her!)
first day of school September 2013
(omg this picture cracks me up!!)
last day of school June 2014
Its a big and exciting milestone and she is so ready to move on...
I just wish I felt the same. *sob*
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Monday, May 19, 2014
Maizey Lost A Tooth. Alternately Titled: I Cried.
Ohhhhh.... BIG weekend around here.
SOMEONE.....lost their first tooth.
Excuse me while I sob into my stupid club soda with lime.
Last Thursday, while hurrying to meet a guy about a lens downtown, Maizey stopped to tell me she had a loose tooth. I thought she was being dramatic about wiggling a tooth. Like, I can put my fingers on a tooth and move it back and forth, it seems like it's wiggling to me too. I didn't believe her, she's only four for the love of all things holy, why would I??? I stopped anyways, played along and bent down to see her "loose tooth". Holy shit you guys, it was barely hanging on by a thread. Or you know, a root. I think I screamed a little. Tears sprang to my eyes and threatened to over flow. MY BABY HAS A LOOSE TOOTH. She calmly reminded me that she isn't a baby. I called Brian, basically hysterical, to tell him. He was surprised too, he just handled it wayyyyy better than me.
We met the guy, we bought the lens, we headed home.
Maizey: awww Mom, we haven't heard your favorite song in so long and now I can't even sing it because I have a loose tooth.
Do you think I'm going to be able to eat dinner, you know, because of my loose tooth?
I wonder if I can stay awake late enough to see the Tooth Fairy when she comes....
I can't believe I have a loose tooth. I am just so excited because Jaya and Peyton both lost some of their baby teeth and I want to be just like them.
ME: STOP WIGGLING THAT TOOTH RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT FALL OUT.
Leave it alone.
Serioiusly, leave it alone.
Let me see it, oh my god, it's almost out, I can't believe you are going to lose a tooth already. I'M NOT READY FOR THIS.
Anyways, Friday came and went and she wiggled and wiggled and wiggled it, without much discussion or attention payed to it. Saturday, there was barely a mention of it. That night, she went to bed and came out maybe a half hour later, tooth in hand. I don't know how it happened, I moved it one way and it like, bent in half, and I moved it the other way and then it was just like, in my mouth.
the tiniest, most adorable little tooth I have ever seen.
We were down at my parents for the weekend though, so she didn't want to put it under her pillow for the tooth fairy that night because she wanted Brian to see it, so we brought it home with us. Last night, she fell asleep with the tiny little tooth in her hand, under her pillow, which surprised her this morning because she was certain she wouldn't be able to fall asleep with all the excitement.
The tooth fairy left seven coins, which she could not be more thrilled about. She doens't know or care that they added up to $1.80, she just cares that she has a fist full of money. Plus the coin my mom gave her, just in case.
She is thrilled. I've gotten much less emotional about the whole thing, which is good, because the one beside the gaping hole is already loose too.
*ahem* still sobbing away here....
SOMEONE.....lost their first tooth.
Excuse me while I sob into my stupid club soda with lime.
Last Thursday, while hurrying to meet a guy about a lens downtown, Maizey stopped to tell me she had a loose tooth. I thought she was being dramatic about wiggling a tooth. Like, I can put my fingers on a tooth and move it back and forth, it seems like it's wiggling to me too. I didn't believe her, she's only four for the love of all things holy, why would I??? I stopped anyways, played along and bent down to see her "loose tooth". Holy shit you guys, it was barely hanging on by a thread. Or you know, a root. I think I screamed a little. Tears sprang to my eyes and threatened to over flow. MY BABY HAS A LOOSE TOOTH. She calmly reminded me that she isn't a baby. I called Brian, basically hysterical, to tell him. He was surprised too, he just handled it wayyyyy better than me.
We met the guy, we bought the lens, we headed home.
Maizey: awww Mom, we haven't heard your favorite song in so long and now I can't even sing it because I have a loose tooth.
Do you think I'm going to be able to eat dinner, you know, because of my loose tooth?
I wonder if I can stay awake late enough to see the Tooth Fairy when she comes....
I can't believe I have a loose tooth. I am just so excited because Jaya and Peyton both lost some of their baby teeth and I want to be just like them.
ME: STOP WIGGLING THAT TOOTH RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT FALL OUT.
Leave it alone.
Serioiusly, leave it alone.
Let me see it, oh my god, it's almost out, I can't believe you are going to lose a tooth already. I'M NOT READY FOR THIS.
Anyways, Friday came and went and she wiggled and wiggled and wiggled it, without much discussion or attention payed to it. Saturday, there was barely a mention of it. That night, she went to bed and came out maybe a half hour later, tooth in hand. I don't know how it happened, I moved it one way and it like, bent in half, and I moved it the other way and then it was just like, in my mouth.
the tiniest, most adorable little tooth I have ever seen.
We were down at my parents for the weekend though, so she didn't want to put it under her pillow for the tooth fairy that night because she wanted Brian to see it, so we brought it home with us. Last night, she fell asleep with the tiny little tooth in her hand, under her pillow, which surprised her this morning because she was certain she wouldn't be able to fall asleep with all the excitement.
The tooth fairy left seven coins, which she could not be more thrilled about. She doens't know or care that they added up to $1.80, she just cares that she has a fist full of money. Plus the coin my mom gave her, just in case.
She is thrilled. I've gotten much less emotional about the whole thing, which is good, because the one beside the gaping hole is already loose too.
*ahem* still sobbing away here....
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Spiderman Fans
I'm not exactly sure when Maizey's love of Spiderman started. My guess would be about a year ago when she discovered the old cartoon on Netflix, Spiderman and His Amazing Friends. I think it's from when I was a kid?? It has Firestar and Iceman - do you know the one I mean? Anyways, she watched it religiously. She knows episodes by heart and always always ALWAYS wanted to play Spiderman, Firestar and Iceman with her friends and used to be totally shocked when her friends didn't know who the heck she was talking about. She dressed as Spiderman for Halloween and has been known to wear the costume under her clothes all day, on the regular. When she does that she says things like won't it be so cool that no one in the (what ever store we are going to) know that Spiderman is in there? I would go as far as to say that one of her most favorite things to do of all time, is sit with Brian and watch a Spiderman movie. Any one, she's not picky and luckily, neither is he. At the risk of potentially getting my husband made fun of, I will admit that he still thinks Spiderman is the coolest super hero out there and he was a bit *too* excited about the Spidy coffee mug the kids gave him for his birthday. He' still the #1 fan and she comes in a close #2.
When The Amazing Spiderman 2 was playing in our little theatre this past week, he decided to take her on a date. It was supposed to be much better planned, with dinner out before the show, her wearing the costume, a mid-day nap so she would last through the whole movie. But....it didn't go that way and at 6:30 on Tuesday night it was decided they were going in half an hour. She was OMG sooooo excited. (Jace was pissed, for the record. No one leaves Jace at home. NO ONE.)
Brian sent me a picture that is my current all time favorite picture of her before the movie started.
I admit I was a wee bit jealous that I was missing out on the excitement, because I am a little selfish like that - I should never be left out of the adventures. Hmphf. Anyways, moving on.
She lasted an hour into the movie before she started falling asleep so stood up and put her coat on and informed her Daddy it was time to go. But that gigantic smile was still plastered on her face when they walked in the door. It's ok she said Dad can just download it in a few months and we can finish watching it then. Alright then.
She feels like it was a success and I suppose that's all that matters.
She may be his #2 fan, she just isn't as dedicated as #1.
When The Amazing Spiderman 2 was playing in our little theatre this past week, he decided to take her on a date. It was supposed to be much better planned, with dinner out before the show, her wearing the costume, a mid-day nap so she would last through the whole movie. But....it didn't go that way and at 6:30 on Tuesday night it was decided they were going in half an hour. She was OMG sooooo excited. (Jace was pissed, for the record. No one leaves Jace at home. NO ONE.)
Brian sent me a picture that is my current all time favorite picture of her before the movie started.
I admit I was a wee bit jealous that I was missing out on the excitement, because I am a little selfish like that - I should never be left out of the adventures. Hmphf. Anyways, moving on.
She lasted an hour into the movie before she started falling asleep so stood up and put her coat on and informed her Daddy it was time to go. But that gigantic smile was still plastered on her face when they walked in the door. It's ok she said Dad can just download it in a few months and we can finish watching it then. Alright then.
She feels like it was a success and I suppose that's all that matters.
She may be his #2 fan, she just isn't as dedicated as #1.
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Project "Grow Tiny Human #3"
Theres a new picture up on our fridge, mixed in with the preschool calendar, the Blue Jays schedule, some art work and a few photos.
It's not actually very new, it's been up there since February.
It feels a bit surreal and still very new and fresh, but at the same time, like it's just always been there.
Maybe it's because we took down the two that had been on there for the last five and three years, when we put it up. Maybe it's because we've been waiting for it to go up, without even knowing we were waiting for it.
So, um, I am growing another tiny little human.
It's so exciting. We could not be more excited.
18.5 week belly. um, wow. third baby bellies grow faster, right?
Estimated date of completion for this project is October 1st.... which means we could have August, September and October kids in this family. It's a busy fall around here.
I will be found with my feet in a kiddy pool, sipping ice water and eating popsicles this summer, if you are looking for me.
It's not actually very new, it's been up there since February.
It feels a bit surreal and still very new and fresh, but at the same time, like it's just always been there.
Maybe it's because we took down the two that had been on there for the last five and three years, when we put it up. Maybe it's because we've been waiting for it to go up, without even knowing we were waiting for it.
So, um, I am growing another tiny little human.
It's so exciting. We could not be more excited.
18.5 week belly. um, wow. third baby bellies grow faster, right?
Estimated date of completion for this project is October 1st.... which means we could have August, September and October kids in this family. It's a busy fall around here.
I will be found with my feet in a kiddy pool, sipping ice water and eating popsicles this summer, if you are looking for me.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
New Stages. Some Are Easier Than Others
These things always go in stages. I know. I know this because I can remember Jace being about two months old and every night for sometimes upwards of three hours for weeks on end, I was awake with Maizey, going back and forth between her bed and ours, trying to get her to go back to sleep. She was awake for no reason but just couldn't get back to sleep. It was so fun doing it with a brand new baby that also demanded my attention a number of times throughout the night.
I am currently doing the same with Jace.
It's almost every night. It's for no reason and it's not really that fun at all, even without a new born to tend to. I have no answers. I don't see an end in sight, but I do know that it does end and when it does, I won't even notice because we will have moved on to some new phase that will just use my time and energy in another way.
****************
It has felt pretty darn spring-ish around here lately.
Maizey rode her bike to town and back the other day. She packed her backpack with water and snacks and her field journal and a pencil, all of it 'just in case' . We stopped about 10 times for a water break on the way to town and only once on the way home. I think the novelty had worn off and she was tired. We were pretty close to home when she saw a tiny little something on the ground, so decided she better stop and record it in her field journal. She set her bike down, sat down on it and pulled her field journal and pencil out.
Everything was recorded in the proper way, she flipped through a few pages to cross reference whether that was an ant we had just seen scurry by us (spoiler * it was an ant* ), she packed her bag back up and was ready to continue. It was pretty fun to watch her ride her bike the whole way. She's pretty aware of how to be safe and where and when to stop and I am really looking forward to many more bike rides this summer. Lets just hope we are getting more sleep too.
I am currently doing the same with Jace.
It's almost every night. It's for no reason and it's not really that fun at all, even without a new born to tend to. I have no answers. I don't see an end in sight, but I do know that it does end and when it does, I won't even notice because we will have moved on to some new phase that will just use my time and energy in another way.
****************
It has felt pretty darn spring-ish around here lately.
Maizey rode her bike to town and back the other day. She packed her backpack with water and snacks and her field journal and a pencil, all of it 'just in case' . We stopped about 10 times for a water break on the way to town and only once on the way home. I think the novelty had worn off and she was tired. We were pretty close to home when she saw a tiny little something on the ground, so decided she better stop and record it in her field journal. She set her bike down, sat down on it and pulled her field journal and pencil out.
Everything was recorded in the proper way, she flipped through a few pages to cross reference whether that was an ant we had just seen scurry by us (spoiler * it was an ant* ), she packed her bag back up and was ready to continue. It was pretty fun to watch her ride her bike the whole way. She's pretty aware of how to be safe and where and when to stop and I am really looking forward to many more bike rides this summer. Lets just hope we are getting more sleep too.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Totally Random Stories From A Few Busy Weeks
A few nights ago, long after both kids had been tucked in and our house was peacefully quiet, Jace came running upstairs sobbing. He was borderline hysterical, trying to tell me what had happened but the only word I could understand was Maizey. I took him back down and learned that Maizey had eaten his entire pretend popsicle off the colored popsicle stick he had taken from the craft drawer, rather than the one bite he had told her she could have. THE OUTRAGE. In that moment, he was sure he had the worst sister in the world. It took a lot to come down off that kind of blatant disregard for the fact that HE wanted a few bites of his fake popsicle.
Not many days before that, out of nowhere at lunch, Maizey was suddenly furious at me. Apparently, I had left her to swim all by herself, in the ocean at the skating rink and there was A LIZARD in the ocean, and I *know* she can't swim and that she is not so fond of lizards and she was asking me to help her and I just wouldn't and how could I be so freaking mean??? Naturally, I did not have a sniff what she was talking about. I mean, an ocean at the skating rink? We don't even have one of those. Anyways, after a bit of digging, it was in fact a dream slash nightmare she had had the night before and she was pissed. And given the right circumstance even now, she will bring it up and remind me just how not cool that was of me.
Jace started spitting. It's gross and I have no idea where he learned it. He spits on things, at things, in things. On us. On the floor. Everywhere. It's not funny and after many weeks of warnings and unsuccessful attempts at getting him to stop, I told him I would put hot sauce on his tongue if he did it again. Literally 15 minutes later he spit on the kitchen floor while waiting for me to cut up his kiwi. I put a drop of tabasco on my finger, he willingly stuck out his tongue and I wiped it on. Ohhhh did he cry. I *almost* felt bad, but then I got over it, because OMG stop spitting JACE!!! We'll see if he learned his lesson... my guess is no (he's *awesome* like that) - but time will tell.
The kids were fighting over an empty plastic bucket. Maizey had it, Jace wanted it - there was running and yelling and trying to hide with it when, as can be expected, someone got hit in the face and there was a bleeding nose. The bleeder was Jace. Maizey came running to tell me and rather than just saying "Hey, I accidentally hit Jace in the face and now he has a bleeding nose" she went with "I knew this was a bad day for us to choose for Dad to go to work, because I wanted the bucket and Jace tried to get it and then he got hit in the face and now he is bleeding and if Dad was home this totally wouldn't have happened, I just know it" . Way to take responsibility for your actions Maizey *slow cap*. Also, doesn't she know we don't "choose" when he goes to work? The assholes at CP Rail choose that, thats why it's always such unfortunate timing.
Things have been pretty much non-stop around here for weeks now. It's hectic and great to be actually busy, not waiting for the weather to get better and crying over the fact that it was still snowing well into March. Everyone is happy to be out of snow suits and boots and into runners and onto bikes instead. As seen above, no moments seem to be dull.
Not many days before that, out of nowhere at lunch, Maizey was suddenly furious at me. Apparently, I had left her to swim all by herself, in the ocean at the skating rink and there was A LIZARD in the ocean, and I *know* she can't swim and that she is not so fond of lizards and she was asking me to help her and I just wouldn't and how could I be so freaking mean??? Naturally, I did not have a sniff what she was talking about. I mean, an ocean at the skating rink? We don't even have one of those. Anyways, after a bit of digging, it was in fact a dream slash nightmare she had had the night before and she was pissed. And given the right circumstance even now, she will bring it up and remind me just how not cool that was of me.
Jace started spitting. It's gross and I have no idea where he learned it. He spits on things, at things, in things. On us. On the floor. Everywhere. It's not funny and after many weeks of warnings and unsuccessful attempts at getting him to stop, I told him I would put hot sauce on his tongue if he did it again. Literally 15 minutes later he spit on the kitchen floor while waiting for me to cut up his kiwi. I put a drop of tabasco on my finger, he willingly stuck out his tongue and I wiped it on. Ohhhh did he cry. I *almost* felt bad, but then I got over it, because OMG stop spitting JACE!!! We'll see if he learned his lesson... my guess is no (he's *awesome* like that) - but time will tell.
The kids were fighting over an empty plastic bucket. Maizey had it, Jace wanted it - there was running and yelling and trying to hide with it when, as can be expected, someone got hit in the face and there was a bleeding nose. The bleeder was Jace. Maizey came running to tell me and rather than just saying "Hey, I accidentally hit Jace in the face and now he has a bleeding nose" she went with "I knew this was a bad day for us to choose for Dad to go to work, because I wanted the bucket and Jace tried to get it and then he got hit in the face and now he is bleeding and if Dad was home this totally wouldn't have happened, I just know it" . Way to take responsibility for your actions Maizey *slow cap*. Also, doesn't she know we don't "choose" when he goes to work? The assholes at CP Rail choose that, thats why it's always such unfortunate timing.
Things have been pretty much non-stop around here for weeks now. It's hectic and great to be actually busy, not waiting for the weather to get better and crying over the fact that it was still snowing well into March. Everyone is happy to be out of snow suits and boots and into runners and onto bikes instead. As seen above, no moments seem to be dull.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Jace Never Stops. It's Exhausting For Everyone
Jace never stops moving. Running, jumping, climbing, rolling, investigating, climbing on one of us, rolling on one of us, rolling on his sister, climbing on his sister. It never stops. Our friend Alicia was here for coffee this weekend and after watching him not stop moving for an hour she remarked at how exhausting it was just watching him move that much. He never slows down, he barely stops to eat - he would prefer to eat on the run if that were permitted. This is the #1 reason he still gets strapped into the booster seat at the table to eat - he would never sit still long enough to get through a meal. Bath's are a nightmare - he's in and out and up and down a million times in the tub. It's just so much easier to bring him in the shower.
After the monster incident, bed times got easier. He has stayed in bed, calmed himself down and put himself to sleep almost every night since then. Nap times weren't going well, so I started laying down with him. If nothing else, I thought I could at least stop him from actually getting out of bed and coming upstairs and eventually maybe somehow entice him to close his eyes and go to sleep. It is the craziest thing, to watch him finally slow down enough to fall asleep. He is climbing on me, hiding under the blanket from the Puma that is sure to come, he's sitting up, laying down, sitting up, laying down, sitting up, standing up, back flopping, sitting up, turning sideways, trying to snuggle, trying to get away from the snuggle, hiding his head under the pillow, hiding one more time under the blanket from the Puma, then he is suddenly sleeping. It takes at least a half an hour before he will lay still for, at the most, one minute, and then he is asleep. It takes so much for him to slow down, calm down and relax, but when he finally does, he is so tired he can't last more than one minute. It's wild to watch.
Pretty much the only time we see him be still is in his carseat, or when he is really interested in a tv show or movie. Which seems to be few and far between right now - he is incredibly picky about what he watches these days and rarely has the attention span to sit through it anyways.
he was a wee bit under the weather this morning. so sad to see him laying on the couch, so out of sorts.
Laying with him while he naps has actually worked out well for me. I get to see him be still. I have time to notice the little dimples on his knuckles and how long his eyelashes really are. I get to look closely at his little round face and see that it's sort of losing its roundness and instead is getting a few hard edges that weren't there before. I see that he needs a haircut and that he is for sure getting taller rather than rounder and that many of his shirts are resembling belly shirts these days. I get to hear his soft little snore and I get to snuggle him close, because now he can't fight me and bury my face into the back of his neck and breath deep. These days are not going to last long. He is getting so big. It was around this time two years ago that Maizey stopped napping. It was a big adjustment for all of us. I'm not ready for Buddy to stop, I like the quiet for an hour or two in the afternoon and he is a complete beast if he doesn't get the rest. But now I'm also not ready because I like this quiet time we are spending together where I am noticing things that I haven't had a chance to notice in so long and if I am being honest, I am just plain and simple, going to be a wee bit sad when this ends.
After the monster incident, bed times got easier. He has stayed in bed, calmed himself down and put himself to sleep almost every night since then. Nap times weren't going well, so I started laying down with him. If nothing else, I thought I could at least stop him from actually getting out of bed and coming upstairs and eventually maybe somehow entice him to close his eyes and go to sleep. It is the craziest thing, to watch him finally slow down enough to fall asleep. He is climbing on me, hiding under the blanket from the Puma that is sure to come, he's sitting up, laying down, sitting up, laying down, sitting up, standing up, back flopping, sitting up, turning sideways, trying to snuggle, trying to get away from the snuggle, hiding his head under the pillow, hiding one more time under the blanket from the Puma, then he is suddenly sleeping. It takes at least a half an hour before he will lay still for, at the most, one minute, and then he is asleep. It takes so much for him to slow down, calm down and relax, but when he finally does, he is so tired he can't last more than one minute. It's wild to watch.
Pretty much the only time we see him be still is in his carseat, or when he is really interested in a tv show or movie. Which seems to be few and far between right now - he is incredibly picky about what he watches these days and rarely has the attention span to sit through it anyways.
he was a wee bit under the weather this morning. so sad to see him laying on the couch, so out of sorts.
Laying with him while he naps has actually worked out well for me. I get to see him be still. I have time to notice the little dimples on his knuckles and how long his eyelashes really are. I get to look closely at his little round face and see that it's sort of losing its roundness and instead is getting a few hard edges that weren't there before. I see that he needs a haircut and that he is for sure getting taller rather than rounder and that many of his shirts are resembling belly shirts these days. I get to hear his soft little snore and I get to snuggle him close, because now he can't fight me and bury my face into the back of his neck and breath deep. These days are not going to last long. He is getting so big. It was around this time two years ago that Maizey stopped napping. It was a big adjustment for all of us. I'm not ready for Buddy to stop, I like the quiet for an hour or two in the afternoon and he is a complete beast if he doesn't get the rest. But now I'm also not ready because I like this quiet time we are spending together where I am noticing things that I haven't had a chance to notice in so long and if I am being honest, I am just plain and simple, going to be a wee bit sad when this ends.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Bedtime Monster
So, I might have done something that will for sure not win me the Mother Of The Year Award.
Ok, I definitely did.
Yesterday in a desperate attempt to get Jace to fall asleep for a nap, while semi-restraining him in my arms on my bed, I told him that if he got out of bed again, he would turn into a monster. A MONSTER?? he asked. I went into great detail about why that would be so sad - because monsters have to live in caves way up high in the mountains. How they don't have toys to play with. How it's cold up there. How much we would miss him. Blah blah blah. It worked. He calmed down enough to fall asleep while still wrapped lovingly, and very tightly so as not to bust loose, in my arms. Perfect, this will be the new way I get him to go to sleep I said to myself while casually patting myself on the back. That's one for me.
So last night, it wound up being a late night because, yay me - I got him to have a long nap. (wait, that didn't seem so much like a win anymore.) It was okay, we were busy putting together a new bed we had bought for their room and they were super into the Tinker Bell movie we put on to keep them out of view of the fight that was sure to ensue when putting together a piece of Ikea (type) furniture as a couple. It was 9:15 by the time we were putting them down and it was wayyyy past their bedtime. The crying reminded us of that very fact. Anyways, we got them tucked in, and I leaned in to snuggle Buddy and casually remind him what would happen if he got out of bed. This time I maybe added a little more. Like, that if he got out of bed, an evil witch would turn him into the monster. And we all know that you don't want to fuck with an evil witch, right? Even a two year old knows that. So, he rolled over, snuggled his back into me and was asleep in literally seconds. Again, with the pat on the back. I am soooo winning. I climbed up onto Maizeys new bed to snuggle her quickly when out of nowhere up the ladder comes Jace, vibrating. He climbs over us, gets under her covers and is asleep in seconds again. What the hell was that? I wondered. Oh well, he's asleep. I got Maizey settled down and left their room. I don't know, maybe five minutes of peaceful silence went by before an absolutely terrified scream came from their room. Thats weird, we said to each other. Brian went to see what was going on and was gone a long time. He came back with a story about how he's never seen Jace like that before. He seemed like he was terrified of something. He leapt at me off of Maizeys bed with no regard to falling or me catching him. And he was kind of shaking. I don't know what that was all about, but I snuggled him and got him calmed down and he fell asleep again in his own bed. Maizey said she tried to help him, but he was just screaming and screaming. I knew. I knew what the problem was, but I wasn't just going to say what I had done. I mean, I wasn't like, 100% positive. It could have been any number of reasons that he was so scared. Awhile later, I tried to act as though I had just remembered, I casually mentioned what I had done to get him to go to sleep earlier and that maybe I had done it again tonight, and that maybe I had added an evil witch. Brian gave me the look. You know, the one that says that was so stupid of you. There were very few words exchanged over it.
Cut to tonight. Buddy remembers and he is afraid. He climbed straight into bed, he snuggled down, he whispered to me no witch mama, no monster. His eyes were darting around nervously and every sound Maizeys bed made above him, had him snuggling down further under his covers. He didn't take his hand off my arm, he barely moved. You guys, he is seriously afraid. I whispered that there is no witch, it was just pretend, he won't turn into a monster, it was just to be *ahem* funny. He didn't believe me, or maybe he did, but he still didn't get out of bed. He called me to ask if he could go to the bathroom, which has never happened, ever.
I feel bad. I won't say it anymore. I don't want him to be afraid of going to bed. At least, not THAT afraid. But I do want him to go to bed and stay there. I don't want him to come upstairs a million times every night and get into trouble almost that many. I don't want him to need 75 drinks and to go to the bathroom 15 times in one hour. I know it's all fake just to get to keep coming up. I want him to go to bed at 7:30 and go to sleep. He's tired. But he's wired and he has a hard to settling down. We've tried reading many many calming stories before bed, having a warm bath, watching some tv, snuggling with him, locking his door, leaving a lamp on, singing songs. Putting Maizey to bed first. Putting him to bed first. I'm out of ideas. Our (my) new tactic won't work. I mean, it will, but at what expense?! Our old ways stopped working. All of the in-between ways didn't seem to be much better. I'm getting to the end of my rope. I am losing my mind having him stay up until 8:30-9:00-9:30 every night and then get up at 6:00 every morning, at the latest. I feel like I am not getting enough time to decompress at night. I need some quiet time, those two hours every night are literally the only silence I get all day. I'm desperate for this stage to pass and bed time to get easy again. I don't want him to turn into a monster, I just want him to stop acting like one.
Ok, I definitely did.
Yesterday in a desperate attempt to get Jace to fall asleep for a nap, while semi-restraining him in my arms on my bed, I told him that if he got out of bed again, he would turn into a monster. A MONSTER?? he asked. I went into great detail about why that would be so sad - because monsters have to live in caves way up high in the mountains. How they don't have toys to play with. How it's cold up there. How much we would miss him. Blah blah blah. It worked. He calmed down enough to fall asleep while still wrapped lovingly, and very tightly so as not to bust loose, in my arms. Perfect, this will be the new way I get him to go to sleep I said to myself while casually patting myself on the back. That's one for me.
So last night, it wound up being a late night because, yay me - I got him to have a long nap. (wait, that didn't seem so much like a win anymore.) It was okay, we were busy putting together a new bed we had bought for their room and they were super into the Tinker Bell movie we put on to keep them out of view of the fight that was sure to ensue when putting together a piece of Ikea (type) furniture as a couple. It was 9:15 by the time we were putting them down and it was wayyyy past their bedtime. The crying reminded us of that very fact. Anyways, we got them tucked in, and I leaned in to snuggle Buddy and casually remind him what would happen if he got out of bed. This time I maybe added a little more. Like, that if he got out of bed, an evil witch would turn him into the monster. And we all know that you don't want to fuck with an evil witch, right? Even a two year old knows that. So, he rolled over, snuggled his back into me and was asleep in literally seconds. Again, with the pat on the back. I am soooo winning. I climbed up onto Maizeys new bed to snuggle her quickly when out of nowhere up the ladder comes Jace, vibrating. He climbs over us, gets under her covers and is asleep in seconds again. What the hell was that? I wondered. Oh well, he's asleep. I got Maizey settled down and left their room. I don't know, maybe five minutes of peaceful silence went by before an absolutely terrified scream came from their room. Thats weird, we said to each other. Brian went to see what was going on and was gone a long time. He came back with a story about how he's never seen Jace like that before. He seemed like he was terrified of something. He leapt at me off of Maizeys bed with no regard to falling or me catching him. And he was kind of shaking. I don't know what that was all about, but I snuggled him and got him calmed down and he fell asleep again in his own bed. Maizey said she tried to help him, but he was just screaming and screaming. I knew. I knew what the problem was, but I wasn't just going to say what I had done. I mean, I wasn't like, 100% positive. It could have been any number of reasons that he was so scared. Awhile later, I tried to act as though I had just remembered, I casually mentioned what I had done to get him to go to sleep earlier and that maybe I had done it again tonight, and that maybe I had added an evil witch. Brian gave me the look. You know, the one that says that was so stupid of you. There were very few words exchanged over it.
Cut to tonight. Buddy remembers and he is afraid. He climbed straight into bed, he snuggled down, he whispered to me no witch mama, no monster. His eyes were darting around nervously and every sound Maizeys bed made above him, had him snuggling down further under his covers. He didn't take his hand off my arm, he barely moved. You guys, he is seriously afraid. I whispered that there is no witch, it was just pretend, he won't turn into a monster, it was just to be *ahem* funny. He didn't believe me, or maybe he did, but he still didn't get out of bed. He called me to ask if he could go to the bathroom, which has never happened, ever.
I feel bad. I won't say it anymore. I don't want him to be afraid of going to bed. At least, not THAT afraid. But I do want him to go to bed and stay there. I don't want him to come upstairs a million times every night and get into trouble almost that many. I don't want him to need 75 drinks and to go to the bathroom 15 times in one hour. I know it's all fake just to get to keep coming up. I want him to go to bed at 7:30 and go to sleep. He's tired. But he's wired and he has a hard to settling down. We've tried reading many many calming stories before bed, having a warm bath, watching some tv, snuggling with him, locking his door, leaving a lamp on, singing songs. Putting Maizey to bed first. Putting him to bed first. I'm out of ideas. Our (my) new tactic won't work. I mean, it will, but at what expense?! Our old ways stopped working. All of the in-between ways didn't seem to be much better. I'm getting to the end of my rope. I am losing my mind having him stay up until 8:30-9:00-9:30 every night and then get up at 6:00 every morning, at the latest. I feel like I am not getting enough time to decompress at night. I need some quiet time, those two hours every night are literally the only silence I get all day. I'm desperate for this stage to pass and bed time to get easy again. I don't want him to turn into a monster, I just want him to stop acting like one.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Snow Day(ish)
I have spent more time than I care to admit, worrying about our morning routine and what I am teaching our kids.
You see, we have gotten into this nice little groove of quiet mornings. The kids eat their breakfast at the coffee table while watching Bubble Guppies on Netflix. I sip my coffee and eat my toast at the computer, catching up on internet stuff. It's slow, it's lazy and you know what, it's really nice.
A few weeks ago Maizey and I were discussing when would be a good time to have her friend Corbin over for a sleep over. We decided it shouldn't be a weekend because his weekends are full of family time and it shouldn't be a school day, since they go to different schools, so... that left us two nights in a week. TWO. That seems crazy. September will be here before we know it and suddenly they will be in Kindergarten, which is full time here. Five days a week, all day. That sobering though dissipated any guilt I felt over letting my kids stay in their pj's and watch tv every morning. Seven short months from now, it's all over.
This morning we woke up to (an unofficial count says) 46 cm's of snow. FORTY SIX CENTIMETERS. Thats 18 inches in case you don't know. We were out the door at 7:20 to shovel. It took Brian and I, together, 50 minutes to get it done. Yes, we get a lot of snow. No, I am not surprised. No, I am not complaining. 46 cm's is a lot, I don't care who you are, where you grew up or what your local status is compared to mine. It's a lot of snow. The kids had a freaking blast wading through it this afternoon. Maizeys pre school class still went outside to play, despite not being able to see the playground. I made it to my 9:20 dentist appt, on time, and so did my dental hygienist. We just seem to carry on, no amount of snow stopping us. Our roof will need to be shoveled soon. Our city was ALL OVER the snow removal today and (at least in my neighborhood) kicked ass as it.
I've seen statuses all day of getting help being pushed out, needing help being pushed out, calling a snow day for themselves since one wasn't called for everyone, going skiing, wishing they were going skiing, epic day to be skiing. Some saying I hate snow, why do we live here, I want winter to be over. Others saying I love snow, THIS is why we live here, I want it to keep snowing all month long.
I'm neither here nor there regarding the snow. I don't live here because of it, nor do I want to move away because of it. (The rain is another story. I swear to Ghandi if it starts raining tomorrow, I'm OUT OF HERE.). But I can say one thing for sure, I will keep on enjoying our quiet mornings inside, in our pj's drinking coffee and watching Bubble Guppies. I don't need to be out there shoveling snow at 7:30 every morning.
You see, we have gotten into this nice little groove of quiet mornings. The kids eat their breakfast at the coffee table while watching Bubble Guppies on Netflix. I sip my coffee and eat my toast at the computer, catching up on internet stuff. It's slow, it's lazy and you know what, it's really nice.
A few weeks ago Maizey and I were discussing when would be a good time to have her friend Corbin over for a sleep over. We decided it shouldn't be a weekend because his weekends are full of family time and it shouldn't be a school day, since they go to different schools, so... that left us two nights in a week. TWO. That seems crazy. September will be here before we know it and suddenly they will be in Kindergarten, which is full time here. Five days a week, all day. That sobering though dissipated any guilt I felt over letting my kids stay in their pj's and watch tv every morning. Seven short months from now, it's all over.
This morning we woke up to (an unofficial count says) 46 cm's of snow. FORTY SIX CENTIMETERS. Thats 18 inches in case you don't know. We were out the door at 7:20 to shovel. It took Brian and I, together, 50 minutes to get it done. Yes, we get a lot of snow. No, I am not surprised. No, I am not complaining. 46 cm's is a lot, I don't care who you are, where you grew up or what your local status is compared to mine. It's a lot of snow. The kids had a freaking blast wading through it this afternoon. Maizeys pre school class still went outside to play, despite not being able to see the playground. I made it to my 9:20 dentist appt, on time, and so did my dental hygienist. We just seem to carry on, no amount of snow stopping us. Our roof will need to be shoveled soon. Our city was ALL OVER the snow removal today and (at least in my neighborhood) kicked ass as it.
I've seen statuses all day of getting help being pushed out, needing help being pushed out, calling a snow day for themselves since one wasn't called for everyone, going skiing, wishing they were going skiing, epic day to be skiing. Some saying I hate snow, why do we live here, I want winter to be over. Others saying I love snow, THIS is why we live here, I want it to keep snowing all month long.
I'm neither here nor there regarding the snow. I don't live here because of it, nor do I want to move away because of it. (The rain is another story. I swear to Ghandi if it starts raining tomorrow, I'm OUT OF HERE.). But I can say one thing for sure, I will keep on enjoying our quiet mornings inside, in our pj's drinking coffee and watching Bubble Guppies. I don't need to be out there shoveling snow at 7:30 every morning.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
She Said. Also, Not That Awesome.
Maizey: Mom, what do you call a kid cow?
Me: That would be a calf.
Maizey: No, thats a baby cow, I mean like a kid age?
Me: (uhhh, ok???) Um, I suppose that could be a heifer.
Maizey: Ok. And what about a dad cow?
Me: That would be a bull.
Maizey: Ok. So you would just be a cow cow then, right?
Me: Ummm, me? No, I am not a cow. I am a human, remember?
Maizey: No, not anymore. We are a family of cows now. Buddy is a calf cow, I am a heifer cow, dad is a bull cow and you are a cow cow.
Me: (head spins in a circle). I don't want you to call me a cow in public, ok?!!
Me: That would be a calf.
Maizey: No, thats a baby cow, I mean like a kid age?
Me: (uhhh, ok???) Um, I suppose that could be a heifer.
Maizey: Ok. And what about a dad cow?
Me: That would be a bull.
Maizey: Ok. So you would just be a cow cow then, right?
Me: Ummm, me? No, I am not a cow. I am a human, remember?
Maizey: No, not anymore. We are a family of cows now. Buddy is a calf cow, I am a heifer cow, dad is a bull cow and you are a cow cow.
Me: (head spins in a circle). I don't want you to call me a cow in public, ok?!!
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
The Same. But Different.
Ok, I am back.
I had so many things I was going to get on here, but now I've forgotten them, which feels appropriate... you know, since I wanted to get them on here so I didn't forget them. So I suppose I will start fresh with recent happenings.
I have been noticing lately how different my kids really are from each other. Yesterday they were playing pretend kitchen with one another. Jace asked Maizey if he could have an apple. She put a pretend apple on a pretend plate along with a pretend napkin and handed it to him. He didn't say thank you, but he did quietly eat the pretend apple. Maizey then asked him for an orange. He picked up a pretend orange and pretend chucked it at her head. She picked the pretend orange up, thanked him and pretended to peal it. YOU'RE WELCOME, he said to her.
If Maizey hurts herself and I ask what happened, she will give a detailed play play of what when on up to (sometimes) five minutes prior to the incident as well as the actual incident itself. If Jace hurts himself and I ask what happened, he says only the most important part, which is - I hurt myself and I'm crying - every time.
I felt like I could strong arm Maizey into doing anything I asked just by using the tone of my voice and the look on my face when she was two years old. We did argue and she could be a tiny little beast, but for the most part, we did pretty good. Jace? Not even a little. He's the one that uses his tone of voice and the look on his face to get HIS way. Although, it rarely works. I can yell louder, plus he thinks going to his bedroom to sit alone on his bed in silence is a punishment. If he tried to send me to a timeout like that - all you would see would be a trail of dust. He just knows how to push my buttons, he goes limp when I pick him up, he can run fast when he has something he shouldn't, but if I want him to run down the sidewalk to go pick Maizey up from school, all he can manage is a snails pace. He's trying to strong arm me. Is this a glimpse into our future??
I watch carefully for the moments when they are the same. When they sit side by side at the coffee table drinking hot chocolate after sliding down the snow slide and climbing the snow mountain for an hour together and from the back they look like the same size. When they snuggle with Brian on the couch and don't move for an entire movie. When she says she will read him more bedtime stories after we tuck them in because neither of them thinks that three stories was enough, so he climbs up onto her bed and she gathers the books she knows by heart. When hours later we head to bed, and find them snuggled up in bed together, because
beds in the same room just isnt close enough or warm enough or comfortable enough for them.
Christmas eve in matching p.j's
my phone is full of pictures just like these. So. Many. Sleeping. Pictures.
I like that they are different and that no matter how much I want them to act the damn way I want them to act, they still insist on being whoever they want to be. I am happy to be raising little people that are already their own little people. Let's be honest though, can't he just SOMETIMES do as I ask, the first time, without getting into an argument with me?
I had so many things I was going to get on here, but now I've forgotten them, which feels appropriate... you know, since I wanted to get them on here so I didn't forget them. So I suppose I will start fresh with recent happenings.
I have been noticing lately how different my kids really are from each other. Yesterday they were playing pretend kitchen with one another. Jace asked Maizey if he could have an apple. She put a pretend apple on a pretend plate along with a pretend napkin and handed it to him. He didn't say thank you, but he did quietly eat the pretend apple. Maizey then asked him for an orange. He picked up a pretend orange and pretend chucked it at her head. She picked the pretend orange up, thanked him and pretended to peal it. YOU'RE WELCOME, he said to her.
If Maizey hurts herself and I ask what happened, she will give a detailed play play of what when on up to (sometimes) five minutes prior to the incident as well as the actual incident itself. If Jace hurts himself and I ask what happened, he says only the most important part, which is - I hurt myself and I'm crying - every time.
I felt like I could strong arm Maizey into doing anything I asked just by using the tone of my voice and the look on my face when she was two years old. We did argue and she could be a tiny little beast, but for the most part, we did pretty good. Jace? Not even a little. He's the one that uses his tone of voice and the look on his face to get HIS way. Although, it rarely works. I can yell louder, plus he thinks going to his bedroom to sit alone on his bed in silence is a punishment. If he tried to send me to a timeout like that - all you would see would be a trail of dust. He just knows how to push my buttons, he goes limp when I pick him up, he can run fast when he has something he shouldn't, but if I want him to run down the sidewalk to go pick Maizey up from school, all he can manage is a snails pace. He's trying to strong arm me. Is this a glimpse into our future??
I watch carefully for the moments when they are the same. When they sit side by side at the coffee table drinking hot chocolate after sliding down the snow slide and climbing the snow mountain for an hour together and from the back they look like the same size. When they snuggle with Brian on the couch and don't move for an entire movie. When she says she will read him more bedtime stories after we tuck them in because neither of them thinks that three stories was enough, so he climbs up onto her bed and she gathers the books she knows by heart. When hours later we head to bed, and find them snuggled up in bed together, because
beds in the same room just isnt close enough or warm enough or comfortable enough for them.
Christmas eve in matching p.j's
my phone is full of pictures just like these. So. Many. Sleeping. Pictures.
I like that they are different and that no matter how much I want them to act the damn way I want them to act, they still insist on being whoever they want to be. I am happy to be raising little people that are already their own little people. Let's be honest though, can't he just SOMETIMES do as I ask, the first time, without getting into an argument with me?
Friday, January 3, 2014
The Crappiest Welcome Back Post Of All Time
Happy 2014!!
Where did that last month go? Actually, where did the entire fall and beginning of winter go??
I have many funny stories to get down on paper before I forget them. I have many pictures to post. I actually do have the time do it, but for some reason, I just can't really make it happen. I think I still want to do this - this blogging thing, I don't know why I wouldn't want to knowing that reading back on this 'ol blog is one of my absolute favorite things to do. I have been allowing myself the space and time away, and when I am ready, I will be back. It could be tomorrow, it's hard to say.
I have three pictures that I got all ready to go on here, but then never got around to putting up.
We had a super fast and lovely over night visit with my Mom a few days before Christmas. We all loved it.
aaannndd......
If I had been organized enough to send Christmas cards - here's what it would have been. Just pretend you are receiving this in the mail and that you are over joyed to get it, okay?!
Where did that last month go? Actually, where did the entire fall and beginning of winter go??
I have many funny stories to get down on paper before I forget them. I have many pictures to post. I actually do have the time do it, but for some reason, I just can't really make it happen. I think I still want to do this - this blogging thing, I don't know why I wouldn't want to knowing that reading back on this 'ol blog is one of my absolute favorite things to do. I have been allowing myself the space and time away, and when I am ready, I will be back. It could be tomorrow, it's hard to say.
I have three pictures that I got all ready to go on here, but then never got around to putting up.
We had a super fast and lovely over night visit with my Mom a few days before Christmas. We all loved it.
aaannndd......
If I had been organized enough to send Christmas cards - here's what it would have been. Just pretend you are receiving this in the mail and that you are over joyed to get it, okay?!
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