Thursday, September 28, 2017

Happy 6th Birthday, Buddy

Dear Jace,
   Today you are six years old.
WHAT?! That means that all the things that *I feel like six year olds should do on their own, you are going to start doing, right??!! hahaha, we can all just have a good laugh at that.
For real though, I love that you are six and I am so looking forward to this year of your life. I am certain its going to be your (our) best one yet.
Your favorite place to be right now is sitting on the kitchen counter (feet and all) or standing at the sink washing dishes. I love letting you help do the dishes. You are chatty and funny while doing it, plus you do a really good job.


Your current favorite songs are Blackbird by The Beatles (Boss baby version), I'm Still Standing by Elton John (Sing version) and True Colors by Justin Timberlake (The Trolls version) .... so pretty much you are obsessed with movie sound tracks right now and those 3 stand out. We listen to a lot of the music from those movies and you love it! If you could just sit and listen to it on my phone all day, you would be happy.

I am going to say it - I think you are a bit of a home body. And that is terribly hard for your extremely extroverted mom to wrap her head around. I mean, you like going a few places in town, and over to our friends houses. But, out of town? Oh you never want to do that. You are not a road trip fan and if given the choice you would almost always stay home. You also still get terribly car sick, so that doesn't help. Last October we finally got you prescription nausea meds and it helped 1000% .... you were like a new kid on road trips, but then you decided you don't like the taste of it and now won't take it. We've forced it a few times, but have since given up. We *may* have found the answer in the form of pressure point bracelets and essential oils on your tummy. Fingers crossed.


Your favorite food is fruit. Thats it. Although you do pretty much eat everything, fruit is your go-to #1 food. I am perfectly fine with that.

You love playing made up games with Maizey and Winnie. "lets pretend Im.... and lets pretend you're.... " and that can go on for hours at a time. Usually an unbelievably big mess accompanies that, but I usually just have to take what I can get. I will take playing with no fighting with a mess. I think you just like it best when you are playing with them. Or when you guys get to watch a movie/show together. I will find all of you huddled in the corner of the couch, under one blanket, happily snuggled up. Its one of my favorites to see.

You don't get to watch a ton of tv even though you love it. Pretty much just a movie on Friday nights. Your behavior goes a bit off the rails if you watch too much, so probably about 6 months ago, we had to shut it down completely and have slowly let it back into your life. It was a great reset for you.

You absolutely love "relaxing baths" ; epsom salt and lavender oil. It's made a huge difference in your life. I love putting a calm and relaxed Jace to bed at night.

You know how to read. You just refuse to do it for me. I have overheard you many times in the last few weeks reading books to yourself, but when I ask to sit and listen you clam up, say you don't know how and beg me to read it to you. I'm proud of you. Also annoyed you won't read to me. haha. I want to hear you, so come on already!!!


We have spent a lot of time this year just trying to figure out what makes you tick. How to speak your language. How to get you to do what you need/we want you to do without it always being a huge freaking fight and ending with everyone in tears. We have tried to figure out how to meet you where you are at. We've come a long way and we still have a long way to go.

You are currently afraid to be basically anywhere in our house alone. Your bedroom, the kitchen, sometimes the living room. Downstairs - absolutely not. Outside - nope. It has been incredibly frustrating because it feels like we've gone backwards -back to helping you get dressed, supervising your every move outside, feeling like you are always clinging to us. But we had to let it go, and like I said, meet you where you are at. Ok, you currently don't want to be alone. So rather than arguing about it and then ending up being there with you in the end, we ask you to do it and when you ask us to come, we do. Its cut down on fighting and time wasting and it's getting done and we are hopeful that one day soon you will move on from this. Please, go back to being independent and capable. Please. Until then, at least I still get to pick your clothes - so I suppose that's the up side!
We have also worked a lot on talking about controlling emotions. Ohhhhh man, do you know how to show us a lot of emotions. Some times all of them at a very heightened level and all at once. It's intense. You cry a lot. You argue a lot. You fight a lot. You laugh hysterically a lot. You go from here to there and back to here very quickly and loudly and often. You often feel misunderstood - meaning when we think you are being mean, you are just trying to "play" (your words), so that has lead to a lot more talking about being respectful about what the people you are trying to play with are saying to you. When we say STOP, you should stop, because that's respectful. Blah blah blah. You've heard it all a million times and you will continue to hear it until you finally start doing it. But that being said, we have also tried to, again, meet you where you're at. So if you are getting rowdy and wanting to play in a rougher way, we try and be silly with you. I suppose we have worked on trying to play the way you like to (while of course still being appropriate and kind), rather than just the way we want you to. Does that make any sense? I hope so. We really just want all of us to be having fun and getting along. Thats legit all we are trying to get at.


The truth is, we've had some hard days this last year. Some not very proud moments for Mom. Some very bad moments. But at the end of every day, we just always wanted you to know, that despite those tough moments, you are very very loved. We all get upset, we all cry, we all have emotions that we need to work through, and at the end of the day, if you go to bed knowing we love you, then thats all that matters. We are pretty sure the rest will sort itself out with time and patience.

You are our favorite Buddy, Budski, Buds, Jace. You make us laugh, you make us crazy and you have the absolute most genuine smile. You mean it when you smile and I love that about you. You give really good hugs and like to hang on for a long time. You get up before 6:00 every single morning and really prefer if I am up before you. I oblige and we spend mornings together, playing cards, eating breakfast, going for bikes rides. You like a good breakfast sandwich and oatmeal full of fruit and chocolate chips, a big plate of fries, and sushi. You like to say everything you drink is coffee or beer and its basically always water. You don't like cold or slippery clothes and you love wearing gloves. You refused sandals all summer. You know who you are and are unwavering in that.

I can't wait to see what your sixth year brings. I'm hoping for lots of laughs and adventures and some good friday nights, watching movies.

We love you so much, Buddy.
Happy happy happy birthday.
Love, Mom and Dad.