Thursday, January 31, 2013

Maizey Skis. In Pictures.

I didn't even ask for a smile. She just had that look on her face. Terrified? Excited? Trying not to pee her pants? Hard to say.




The bottom of her first run. She was still smiling! 


 Corbin is a total little rock star out there. He can ride the carpet up then ski down the bunny hill all by himself.


great little supporters.
apres ski hot chocolate

My Mistake. Sorry.

Something totally revolting happened to us. Okay, it didn't happen to us..... I did it to us. And by "us" I mean Maizey.
I blame the weather.
We went to Coopers at the exact worst time, just me and her. 3:45p.m. You all know, the time when it is packed with everyone coming down from the ski hill and there's never enough people working and the line ups are long and the parking lot is a nightmare. You know.
So we were waiting at the deli counter to buy pepperoni. I don't even like pepperoni. It appeared that no one was working behind the counter. We waited and waited and waited. Maizey got antsy and so did I. They had some cheese samples sitting on top of the counter, so in an attempt to distract her from the boredness I asked if she would like to have a piece of cheese. Obviously. I grabbed a toothpick from the plastic container and stabbed a piece of cheese. She took the toothpick, put the cheese in her mouth and pulled it off with her lips before handing me the toothpick back to throw away. I turned back to the counter and went to put the toothpick in the garbage. But wait. There was no garbage. Only the plastic container I took the toothpick out of............................................
Oh. My. God.
Yes. Yes, I did feed my kid a piece of cheese from a toothpick that had, in all likelihood, been in another persons mouth. Or at the very least, been handled by their germ infested fingers.
Even just writing it makes my stomach feel queasy.
I'm not a germ-a-phobe. Far from it actually. I have eaten many a piece of dropped food as per the five second rule off very questionable floors and have been know to flush a public toilet using my hand. Gasp. But this. This totally crossed the line on what I can handle.
I will be avoiding samples, the grocery store and my husbands accusing eyes for the rest of time. Or, you know, until it looks like a really tasty sample.

Monday, January 21, 2013

For Sale: Two Adorable Blonde Kids. Have Blankies And A Ride. Must Go ASAP.

Dear Kids,
Today, I wanted to sell both of you.
For the record, when you wake up and start crying, IT'S NOT TIME TO WAKE UP.
Jace, I don't know where you got this climbing thing from. but stop it. Actually, just so you know, I don't even  mind it so much when you do it in the living room, but the kitchen? Beat it. The oven is not to be climbed up, if thats even what you were doing when you got the door open and the oven WAS ON, either way, leave it alone. Also, the counters should be safe for us to leave stuff on, like knives and full glasses of milk. Lets leave it at this; if its not a toy, don't touch it.
Maizey, I don't know what happened, you were great this morning. Borderline perfect. I don't know what happened, but good grief, whatever it was.... it was bad. B-A-D. I like playing with you, I like when you help me, I like eating with you and talking to you. I do it a lot. Basically all day, everyday. In turn I would like for you to learn when enough is enough. Like, after the hours spent together today, when you wanted to play mom/kid reversal and you wanted to 'drive me to Ang's house' and I said no thanks, I was good, you should have stopped. No, setting up a fake car with a fake car seat and telling me 'Ang's house is just the bathroom Kid, it's not far and I'm a safe driver' didn't make me want to do it any more. But thanks for the offer. When I said no thanks 45 times, I meant it.
You two, I love you. I really do. But sometimes you are just too damn hard on me.
I don't ask a lot - Don't cry all the time, ask nicely, pick up after yourself, eat what I give you. It doesn't seem super hard.
Jesus, the crying. Jace. Stop crying. You are so freaking dramatic. It's actually laughable. Until it's not laughable anymore and it makes me want to scream. Drama drama drama. Maizey, also with the crying. Stop it.
I know what sibling fights are like and I am gearing up for the matches in your later years. I have an above average annoying sibling. I get it. I understand the sudden need for what the other has, the second they get it and I actually find the running from the other to hide in the bathroom thing kind of funny, because it's exactly what I did as a kid. The fight tonight, when you both should have been asleep was a bit much. I mean really, there were two glasses of water. The screaming over which one got which, well, I think it made my ears bleed. I'm sorry for yelling.


Theres more... the crying at the pool and kicking and screaming and moving when I was trying to put your swim diaper on like it was hot metal and not a cute little cloth diaper (Jace). The dumping of little plastic toys full of water, on the floor out of the tub when I wasn't looking (Jace). The whole plate of dinner on the floor because, apparently, you weren't hungry (Jace). The jam toast wiped on the floor like a cloth (still up in the air who actually did this). Pushing Jace off the couch (Maizey). The mulitple p.j changes (Maizey). All the books dumped off the bookshelf (Jace). Emptying the toilet paper holder and using it for a blankie holder, which resulted in Jace getting the toilet paper (Maizey). Stop turning the fireplace on (both of you). Just the general asshole-ish-ness of both of you today.
Tomorrow has to be better. I promise to bring my A-game with the patience. You have to bring your A-game in being the awesome kids you usually are. I'm not sure how we will all make it out alive if tomorrow is like today. Actually, Daddy will be home. It's his turn.
Love, Mommy

Friday, January 18, 2013

Random Musings

Maizey: Jace, what the hell are you doing, for goodness sake? Wait, Mom, am I allowed to say for goodness sake? 

Oh, the sometimes totally inappropriate things that go on around here.

Also, the sometimes totally awesome things.

And, the sometimes totally sucky things.


I swear to Lucifer that there have not been five seconds of silence in our these last few days. From the time Maizey wakes up (Merrrryyy Chrisssttmas Mama, how was your sleep?) until the second she falls asleep (I neeeeeeed someone to sleep with me until I go to sleep. I'm scared!! It's too cold. I'm too hot in my p.j's............................), she does not stop talking. Oh my god.


Jace lost Maizeys mitt (which he was wearing) on a walk the other day so we went to buy some new ones and as we were getting in the truck to come home, Jace already strapped in his seat, Maizey suddenly had to pee so freaking bad. As in, right that second, so she pulled her pants down, you know to pee hidden between the truck door and the truck. Naturally. It was only -10. Wouldn't you know it, I didn't hold her well enough, and she peed on her pants. Naturally. It was a cold ride home for me, since I was the one with no coat on, since she obvs needed a blanket to cover her bare legs.


Ok Maizey, your three minutes are up. Bed time. 
    No Mom, I need three, three minutes.


Jace can say Maizey. So effing cute. May-May, thats how he says it. Consequently, we have all started calling her that.

My three favorite words of Maizeys right now, that I am going to miss SO much when she stops saying them; bresfit (breakfast) efelant (elephant) and ooze (use) .


We are really good about keeping the little lock thingy done up on the cupboards under the sink, but I swear, Jace is watching to see the times we leave it open. I found him attempting to eat one of those little soap packets for the dishwasher. Twice.


Maizey is currently obsessed with the color of jam that we are eating. Every morning Mom, are we done the purple colored jam yet? can we open the peach colored one now? I don't want peach color anymore, lets open the red one. 


One (or two) of my kids eats snow like it's the last thing they will ever be given. She even licks it off the steps.


I started a photography course this week. My photos went from being hideously wrongly exposed to much much closer to properly exposed in just one short day. There is a glimmer of hope.


I won't tell you how many bottles of wine have been drank in this house in the last week, but I will say it rhymes with hive.


I think it's okay if you just throw my playdoh in the garbage because I don't want to pick it up and it's just okay if I don't have it anymore. (oh my god, I just have to say how much I hate when my plan backfires and she calls my bluff) (the playdoh is still around, and yes, she did pick it up.).


In the time Maizey ate two pieces of toast, Jace ate: an orange, a kiwi, two pieces of toast, two scrambled eggs and a handful of blueberries. I fear for our grocery bill.


Jace finds his electric toothbrush hilarious. Actually, everythig about having his teeth brushed he finds hilarious.


For whatever reason, this past week felt long. Very long. We all needed out of the house. I know it's still way to early to be wishing for Spring, but oh my, I am wishing for Spring something fierce. Maybe it's the lack of new snow and constant gray....
We'll get there...

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Little Besties

What my kids lack in being the same sex, they make up for in not giving a shit.
I thought we needed to have another baby, so that at least one of them could have a best friend to grow up with.
Well I'll be damned. My kids already are.
These two, they love each other. Love.
Today Maizey asked to watch something on Netflix, so as I was waiting for it to load, I asked what she wanted to watch. No, what they wanted to watch.
Kipper the Dog, she said.
No, I said, Kipper the Dog is super boring for Jace, lets watch Diego.
No, she said, lets ask him what he thinks.... Jace, do you want to watch Kipper the Dog?
He answered in jibberish and sounds.
See, she said, thats how he says yes. Right Jace?
He turns to me and totally nods his head yes with a completely mischievous look on his face that screamed I'M ON HER TEAM MOM!!!!!
I was right, he lasted about 20 seconds before he moved on from the tv.
I never should have worried. Just look at the way he watches what she does.

These kids, they don't need anything but one another.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Christmas - In Pictures

If the header on this blog is any indication of where I am at in life right now, then hopefully you all understand. Summer? ended months ago.
Christmas. Ah Christmas. Family, food, wine, visits, love, fires, waking up to my kids fed and happy and hanging out with my parents.



We had a relaxing and quiet week at my parents house. The cousin time was out of control on awesomeness. They played. Just played. No endless fighting and crying and trouble, just playing. It was so great. Maizey loves her cousin best friends so much.





 I don't think there is anything better than watching my parents love on my kids and watching my kids love my parents. Jace spent part of our first day home looking for Grampa every where he went and at the mention of Grampas name, he comes running.

Grampa and his boys


I don't know who missed who most when we left, them the kids, or the kids, them. Either way, we all feel this 6 hour distance after such a great visit.


Tyvan - 4 days new


We brought my youngest brother home with us for a few extra days with him. We sure feel the cross country distance when he leaves. He's in his last year of University on the east coast and we will be happy to have him closer after this.


Him and I spent an epic day at the ski hill on New Years Eve. I can't remember the last time I put in an entire day on the mountain, but holy shit did I feel it that night. Half of ONE beer and I was out. Done. Exhausted. Like, barely get off the couch exhausted. We rang in the new year with a time zone an hour earlier than ours and promptly two minutes later I was in bed.

Sylvie- 15 days new

The flu took us down, hard. It started on Christmas Eve with the kids and for the last week has taken a major toll on us. Maizey was hit the hardest and she is just now, today, finally feeling better. No fever, no crying over everything, finally has energy and an appetite. It's good to feel refreshed.



We came home to a dead as dead can be tree. So mixed in with the giant mess of stuff we brought home was an even more giant mess of needles. I mean giant. We took the tree down first thing the morning after we got home and with every ornament we took off, the branch was stripped of needles. It was horrendous and hilarious (to me) at the same time. I feel confident we will finding them for the rest of the year.

All of us. Finally. 
The mess was all worth it. We feel spoiled and loved and happy.