A Moment In Time

We debated having new born photos done of Maizey. We tossed it back and forth so many times that by the time we actually agreed, she was well past the 'newborn' stage. Plus the only professional photographer we knew of in town is wayyyyy out of our price range. We knew we would be heading to the Island where my little Sheila could do some photos for us, so we just waited for that. We did have her do some when we were there, and they turned out great but Maizey wasn't very co-operative for the shoot, so we didn't get some of the shots we really wanted.
A few months ago I saw a little poster in the window of a store downtown.
It said 'Mini-Shoot - 20 minutes 8 photos to choose from free 8x10 $40'
I emailed the person and we discussed the mini-shoot.
Through our emails, we decided we would splurge and go for the full shoot for not much more than $40.
Jessica was so great to deal with and when we met her in person we thought she was fantastic! Super easy going and we were really comfortable around her. She did two sessions because of Brians schedule. First day was mostly pictures of Maizey and the second was all about the Fam! We went to Brians parents and used places like the old barn and the greenhouse for the setting! We went this week to check out the photos and we totally love them!!! Jessica is fantastic and she gladly sent me some photos to share on here!

Thanks Jessica for capturing the love of our family! We cant wait for future sessions with you! We also cant wait to get our order! Look out walls of this house - its time for a makeover!!
(you can check out Jessica at www.jessicastewardsonphotography.com)
 

Brown

Brown is my thing right now. Well, not my thing for me (mostly) but for everyone else and for stuff. I see a cute fleece that will fit Maizey next fall that's brown, I buy it. I find a perfect pair of size one pants that look like little cargo pants for this fall that are brown, on sale for 50% off - I debate buying two pairs... but of course only end up with one, but rest assured I do end up with one. I WILL paint her room brown, with cute little pink polka dot stickers, which will match the fantastic brown and pink polka dot blanket that our Trudy made for Maizey. I picture her room no other way. I scour the photo department for brown frames. I keep my eye out for brown bedding (on sale of course) and when I find it, I am going to buy it. I remember when people use to say that brown was the new black and I would think to myself - hell to the NO... I will never be jumping on that band wagon. Turns out I was wrong.

Me, I am a red. For sure.
 Red: The color of strength, health, and vitality, Red is often the color chosen by someone outgoing, aggressive, vigorous and impulsive—or someone who would like to be! It goes with an ambitious nature but those who choose it can be abrupt at times, determined to get all they can out of life, quick to judge people and take sides. Red people are usually optimistic and can’t stand monotony; they are rather restless and not at all introspective, so they may be unaware of their own shortcomings. They find it hard to be objective and may blame others for any mishaps. Quiet people with a preference for red may feel the need for the warmth, strength and life-giving qualities of the color, or they blanket their true feelings under a sober exterior. Red is usually chosen by people with open and uncomplicated natures, with a zest for life.
(except the blaming part. I can for sure take the blame. How else do you manage a restaurant if you don't take the blame always; even if its clearly not my fault)

But I like the definition of someone that is a brown.
Brown: A Brown person has stamina and patience, tending to be very solid and substantial, conscientious, dependable, steady and conservative. Browns are not impulsive, and may be inarticulate and tactless but they love responsibility and are reliable and kindly. If you chose Brown, watch out for a tendency to be obstinate and inflexible.

I am well aware of the person that I am. I don't pretend to be anything but who I am. I am proud of who I am. But I strive to be a little bit of a brown person too. The part that is patient. I try to be patient. I really do. Its just not my strong point. My trying doesn't always show. In my head I am saying things calmly and with as much patience as possible, but I have been told (by my lovely husband) that it doesn't always come out that way. I want to be sorry for it. But I`m not. Its just the way it goes for me. You either like it or you don't. That's also just the way it goes.


(when I sat down to write this, I had no idea what I was going to say. I just wanted to mostly say that I have a wicked awesome brown fleece for Maizey to wear in the fall. weird how it ends up what it is.)

 

The Day After

Now comes the inevitable crash. The let down after all the excitement is over. The anticipation of waiting for them to get here, the fun-filled days of pools, parks, playing, eating, laughing, parenting, napping, cooking and cleaning. The content feeling of having my sister in law and my nieces in my home and being comfortable. Comfortable enough to cook what they wanted, get what the needed, nap when they felt like it and not feeling as though they have to ask to do anything. That's my favorite part. Knowing that they feel at home in my home makes me sigh a very happy sigh. In my dream home (or maybe life) I have a little guest house in the back, with a big soaker tub, a wood stove and big comfy bed with down comforters and flannel sheets where guests can come and have a mini-mountain-vacation - except that excited little me will be knocking on the door at the crack of dawn with fresh-baked muffins and a piping hot pot of french press coffee.Today the crash was big. I could barely get myself off the couch this afternoon. It was 4 days of loving on Jaya and Elynn, breaking up fights over tupperware lids, trips to the wading pool, the park and the library, walks downtown for coffees late in the afternoon, a few timeouts (some Jaya, some me for saying the wrong things in front of an almost two year old that repeats everything she hears), lots of singing, laughing, talking and some tears too. My house is a mess, the dishes aren't done, the laundry sits in the washing machine patiently waiting to be put in the dryer, the suit case isn't unpacked, but I just... can't. I hate when things end. BUT - My heart is happy for all the great times and the memories we made. I will forget about being sad for a second to remember that. We soaked up as much of the Hickey Family as we could - Maizey was so excited when they got here - she followed Jaya around trying to copy her every move. She was a little over-whelmed by it all from time to time but for the most part I think she loved having her cousins around. Every chance she got she was touching Elynn and taking her toys away, which Jaya would promptly take from Maizey to give back, unless it was something she wanted, then she would keep it for herself. It was a cycle of give and take. There's an obvious pecking order, Jaya will always be the boss. Shes a born leader that girl. We went to visit Grannie for the weekend. So much craziness ensued. It was happy, emotional and incredibly sad all at once. Rim got a call from my brother that said her horse was sick. Mere hours later she was told he had to be put down. So out of the blue and very shocking. We all shed a few tears for him and for her. I don't wish that on anyone, having to do that and not being there to say good bye. We did have a good morning at the splash park, the kids LOVED it, and I think we (my brother, mom, Rim and I) loved it too - it was a nice way to stay cool and watching the littlies in pure heaven over playing with the water going down the drain... well that's just magic, as well as entertaining. Nice walk along the lake and coffees at a wonderful lake side cafe. There was a hot coffee spillage incident, luckily no one was seriously hurt - although with my gasping and reaction, I think Maizey is going to be a little nervous around bistro tables on patios, even though she wasn't even involved. Heh. I cant be in control all the time.
There. Just writing about it makes me happy again. Just thinking about next years visit makes me smile. Knowing that we will see them in a few weeks makes me excited!
This is my favorite picture (so far) of the whole week

r

 rim did the editing and added the text and i LOVE it! check out www.babyhickey.blogspot.com for more pics and her awesome blog!  
More pictures will have to come tomorrow. Don't worry Grannie - there will be lot
So on that happy note, its time to hit the sheets. I am one exhausted mama in desperate need of some sleep. Love you Rim, Jaya and Elynn. Thanks for such a great visit, we love having and cant wait for you to come again!

Wordless Wednesday - Rimini Hit Me With A Bat

Ok - She didn't really hit me with a bat... I got bit by something at the park and by last night this is what it looked like. It does look better now, but it hasn't gone away.
Is it called domestic violence when it inflicted by your sister in law?
Which reminds me - Rim and Jaya and Elynn are here visiting for the week and we are having tons of fun. Jaya is the boss. Elynn is pretty much just buying time until she can participate. Maizey is a little over whelmed by it all, but shes taking it in stride. She manages to steal a toy or two herself. At the end of both days every ones been exhausted and in bed early and without a fight. Its fantastic!
More on the epic adventure that is called cousinly love tomorrow...

Sometime Things Change. Sometimes Thats Ok.

Our friend, Trudy tells a story about me when I was 3 years old running up a giant dirt pile at their house and then running back down, completely devoid of any fear. She says I was wearing a little pink dress. I am sure my brothers were also running up and down the hill, but in my version of the story I like to say that they were too scared so they just watched in awe as I ran up and down, up and down over and over again. I think I have been fearless all my life. Things that other little kids were scared to do, I would do with out batting an eye - like walking across the top of the monkey bars and climbing the football uprights to sit on the top. Pffftt the high diving board was a piece of cake at the ripe old age of seven. I distinctly remember walking to the edge with confidence and stepping off without even stopping to think about it. I was even younger than seven the first time I jumped off the cliffs at the lake. Maybe it was because I was the only girl with my three (at the time) brothers and the three Brown boys and I didn't want to look like a wimp. I don't know, but I know there are pictures of me standing on the lowest cliff getting ready to jump, then one of the me on the way down holding my nose and finally one of me splashing into the lake. I never had that healthy fear of water. I have jumped off 50 foot cliffs and swam with sharks. Hummel and I were practically eaten alive by sea lice while snorkeling in Thailand but that didn't make us get out. The summer I spent in New Brunswick, the hotel held a triathlon and the night before the race I was asked to swim for a team, so just to make sure I could do it, Sheila and I went to the ocean and I swam where I would have to for the race. Then I had to swim back - in the ocean, alone, at night. I didn't think about how stupid it was until after I did it, but whatever... I survived, didn't I?
My fearlessness does not only pertain to water. I can stand in front of hundreds, thousands if need be, of people and make a speech, written or impromptu without stammering through a single word or sweating a single bead of sweat. I am confident enough to talk to big-wig executives of companies (think back to my days at SMED) as though I am equal to them (which, of course I am, the only difference is they get paid more than me). I flew to Mexico alone when I was 17, to meet Cartwright, and even had to change planes in Dallas, a big feat for someone who had only been on one other trip before, with about 20 other kids and seven chaperons. I traveled across the country by myself at 19 years old, with very little money and no place to stay when I got there, on my way to a summer job. I don't know how my parents ever let me go. I am not even a little afraid of heights. Sky diving and bungee jumping sound exciting not terrifying and I will totally go zip lining through the jungle if I ever get the chance.
This sounds like me blowing a lot of smoke up my own ass, I know, but really I have a point. This is not to say I have NO fears - take a mouse for example. My fear is very real of those disgusting little beasts. I will run like a 5 year old runs from the boogy man if I see one. I am a little afraid of dark alleys at night, but I think that's just good sense. Then there's feelings of fear over things that haven't happened but could- like if something ever happened to any one in my family. In general though, I am not afraid of very many things. I guess this equates to confidence? (I don't know if that sentence even makes sense, but I think it sounds good so I am going to leave it.)
Turns out the road to fear is not only a metaphorical road, but also an actual dirt road. One that logging truck drivers and average drivers like us drive every day. I have officially crossed over - I am no longer the brave, confident person I use to be. I learned this today.
I had a feeling about 6 months ago that this was going to happen, but I denied it. Maizey and I were out and about doing errands. We were listening to a Stuart Mclean Story (The Vinyl Cafe) and I wanted to hear the end, so we went for a little drive to buy us some more time. It was winter, but it hadn't snowed in days and the roads were basically clear. We headed North out of town towards Mica Dam on a road I have driven countless times. We passed the Revelstoke Dam. We passed five mile boat launch. We were literally FIVE MILES away from town. I was all of a sudden gripped by an indescribable fear that there was going to be nowhere for us to turn around and we would have to drive all the way to Mica (about 140km's), but of course we didn't have enough gas, or food or water or blankets if we break down and what if it blizzards and my wind shield wipers stop working and what if Maizey needed to eat? I didn't have my breastfeeding do-hickey because we were just going downtown ohmyeffinggodwhatamigoingtodo??? I stopped in the middle of the road and made a seven million point turn, shaking uncontrollably the entire time and stalling several times in the process, but I did it. I got us turned around to be heading back to town, and the panic stopped. Just like that. Just as quickly as it had come. I drove back to town as though nothing had happened. I later told my mom. She told me I had gone soft. I ignored her.
Today, I realized -- I absolutely, without a doubt, have gone soft. We went for a little family drive this afternoon - spur of the moment with no destination in mind, no snacks packed or a call out to anyone to tell them where we would be, since it was undecided. We wound up south of town up the Akokelux Valley. An area we frequented when we were first together, for many a camping trip. This area is bush country - lots of logging, hunting, even a few trap lines still exist. There are water falls and rivers and lakes and logging roads galore. It is scenery beyond beautiful. You could go back in the mountains for miles and not run out of roads. Brian and I his buddies spent a lot of time out there when they were younger, 4x4ing, quadding, biking, camping -- you name it, they were doing it. There is a particular road that they all love to drive, commonly known as 'The Short Cut' its a ridiculously steep road that is not maintained in the least, as no logging truck would ever even attempt it. You are butted up to the mountain on one side and on the edge of the cliff on the other. I told Brian on the way out there that I was not interested in going down the hill - theres an easy way around it, yes it takes longer, but its safer. He agreed. We cruised along the 'Long Way'. Even on the safe road I could feel that feeling of panic start to creep in. I was watching the edge of the road to make sure it hadn't been washed away in the spring run off - thus causing us to be sucked down over the edge of the cliff and into the great beyond. I was squeezing my holy shit handle with every thing I had, while trying to be discreet - I didn't want to start a fight about how unsafe this was - but ohmyeffinggoditwassounsafeitscrazy. I was thinking the whole time - he should just let me drive, I am a way better driver than him, why isn't he slowing down, I should really be driving, just look at the pretty scenery Amy, stop being a baby. We finally made it to the road to The Akokelux Falls, where we wanted to get to, only to find a locked gate. Apparently the Falls are off limits now. After all that. We headed home (thank god), but this time Brian decided that there was no more Long Way around - we were fine and we were totally taking the Short Cut. I swallowed my fear, repeating over and over - he would not do something he thought was dangerous with us in the truck. I remembered back to the days when I would laugh the whole way up the hill and high five everyone at the top and most likely crack another beer. I played those days in my head - we were fine then, we would be fine now. Breathe Amy. We got to the bottom of the hill and I said a silent prayer. I cant remember going up, I think my eyes were open, I was hanging on to my arm rest and my door handle. I could hear the tires skidding then catching again, I was watching Brian skillfully maneuvering the huge heaves in the road, while staying safely away from the edge, I saw the truck tip over the top and I could feel my eyes start to sting. Then I started crying. Real tears. For no freaking reason. He stopped and said 'see? we're fine'. I had to laugh a little. I looked in the back to make sure Maizey was ok. She was asleep. See? We were fine.
I can thank Maizey for this change. I guess its a good thing to have fear now, so as not to get into unsafe situations and possible be in danger. I am trying to find something positive out of the whole me turning into a complete baby with no sense of excitement anymore thing. This is the best I can come up with. I know somethings wont change, I'm sure I'll still be able to make a speech no problem and the talking thing, well I'm pretty sure that's never going to change, but I may think twice about skydiving and bungee jumping. Maybe.

Amy vs Satan

I am well aware of what happens when a child misses a nap or a meal is a little late in coming. I am well aware of the fact that Chapter One in 'How To Be A Good Parent' is titled "Don't Skip Nap Time Because You Will Want To Gouge Your Eyeballs Out With A Dull Axe". I am well aware of the fact that children like routines, and it is hard for them to stray from that routine, and when they act out, it shouldn't be held against them because it is difficult for them when routines are mixed up. With that being said, today I threw caution (and that stupid fake book that I don't read anyways) to the wind and spur of the moment packed up our stuff and headed out of town with Stacey. ADVENTURE TIME!! yayyy! We stopped at an antique shop and perused for awhile. We held an impromptu photo shoot outside the antique shop.

We went out for a delicious lunch.
We did a little shopping.
We went to Starbucks.
It was so refreshing to get out of town. We traded a dreary cold morning for a sun-shiny afternoon (which we were way over dressed for...). I went not caring about the fact that I left a huge goldfish mess on my kitchen floor (the crackers, not the real deal). Or that I have eleventy thousand loads of laundry to wash and fold. Nope, I was much happier to just GO - plus when there is a chance for Starbucks, I NEVER say no. That's rule #1 in my book. Maizey was a rockstar. She played, she talked, she danced, she cried a little when she couldn't get her shoes off, but with a little help from a friend she managed to get them off to play with. She clapped and laughed and said Yes a trillion times. It was a just one big smiling-because-we-are-awesome-and-are-having-so-much-fun-right-now kind of day.
Then we came home. With a little help from another friend of Maizeys, a little someone known as SATAN - the day of very little napping and non-routine meal times, came crashing down around us... actually just me. It came crashing down around ME. I tried feeding her dinner - she took this opportunity to half chew her food, take it out of her mouth and throw it. So I traded her dinner for a bowl of baby cereal (which she rarely ever eats anymore) thinking she wouldn't be able to throw that. Turns out she can. She can also blow raspberries when she has a mouth full. This results in slobbery grossness all over her face and shirt and makes me want to throw up. When I was out of ideas, I tried to change her into her p.j's in an attempt to put her to bed. She was so riled up, I couldn't even get a diaper on her. I calmly opted to set her on the floor naked, rather than fight with her. She could not have been happier. I swear I saw her nod to Satan, telling him it was ok to leave now, she finally got what she wanted - to be let free. So I let her be free. We played until I could manage to sneak a diaper on her, then I took her outside to play while I bbq-ed dinner. She crawled around, ate grass, tried to eat some gravel... she needed to blow off some steam. I was just happy I figured it out! By the time 9:00 rolled around, she needed to go to bed, so I followed our typical bed time routine. She was having none of that. I let her cry for a long time, but she got the best of me tonight. I FINALLY picked her up and played for 5 more minutes with her. She practiced her humming while I attempted to cuddle her to sleep. She pointed at everything she could see and said Yes with a nod of her head. Eventually she snuggled into the perfect little Maizey sized crook in my arm and closed her eyes. I guess she needed that 5 more minutes. Its been so long since I got to rock her to sleep that I just relished in it. I reminded myself that these moments are getting to be so few and far between so I need to breathe all of it in, to soak it all up, to try not to ever forget the feeling of putting my baby girl to sleep just by a little cuddle and that its ok to do that. I forget how much I love having her sleep in my arms, where I can feel the tiny rise and fall of her chest and hear her soft little sleepy hum. The way she balls up her little hands and squishes them under her chin like a little pillow. I love feeling her completely surrender to sleep and feel her get heavy in my arms. I love setting her down in her crib and watching her curl up onto her side as though she is in my arms still. I pull the blankets up and she grabs on and pulls in under her chin too, just like I do. I whisper to her how much I love her and how lucky I am to be her mama and I say good night.
Today I did pretty much everything that stupid fake book that I don't read anyways says not to do. At the end of the day I got to sit down with a smile on my face and one in my heart. It looks like doing the opposite the book says, got us a fun-filled day with great memories! I will take that any day.

These Are The Days Of Our Life

Yikes! I feel like there are so many things I have wanted to put on here - but because I am either way to busy (doing nothing) or just too lazy, I just... well, haven't. So I am going to make an attempt to catch up on everything I wanted to put on here with out it becoming boringly long... here goes -

Vital Statistics:
Maizey now weighs 16lbs 4oz's. Still not growing in leaps and bounds but at least she is on the charts now (fifth percentile - no big deal.)We are still seeing our doctor every month just to be sure she stays on the healthy curve.
In saying that - my little Missy eats like a horse. She should weigh a hell of a lot more than that.
Her palette has become very  refined, she enjoys such things as pesto chicken pasta, smoked trout, grilled and seasoned zucchini and yams, shrimp and crab pasta salad, steak and pretty much anything else you put in front of her. She plays no favorites. She did turn her nose up at whip cream and huckleberry's once, but has since changed her mind. We are yet to give her anything other than water, so we'll see how she does with juice when the time comes (Brians parents did try orange juice awhile ago, but she would have nothing to do with it).
Sleeping patterns are still erratic at best... we go from sleeping through the night to a night of five times and not in the way Ross intended that to be interpreted. I never know how its going to go. We'll get there. Hopefully before these bags under my eyes get bigger and *more* noticeable.
Her vocabulary and actions have become extensive (I am still trying to get a video but she prefers not be treated like a dog, expected to do tricks on command, so I need to make it a sneak attack)
To date, she says and does:
Yes
Shakes head no at appropriate times
Up
Grandpa
Hat
Whats This
Mom (very rarely)
Dad ( all the effin time)
Points
Plays Patty Cake
Plays Peek-a-Boo with herself in the mirror
Blows kisses (without the hand gesture)
Blows raspberries
 That's all I can remember right now...

She taught herself to climb the stairs (when I wasn't paying attention and on Andreas parents camper steps!!!)
She still does the scoot, but we are working on making it a regular crawl all the time - we are worried that her right foot is externally rotated. We are keeping a close eye on it.
We find her sitting in her favorite place - the front entryway, playing with her favorite toys - our dirty shoes. When we ask her what shes doing, she turns and scoots quickly to the door, where she promptly climbs to her knees and starts banging on the door. Read: someone help me get these shoes on and out of this place. Whatever Maizey. It could get a lot worse than this. Heh. But seriously, she finds rogue socks all over the house and tries to put them on, same with shoes.

As for the rest of us (Brian and I) -
We are putting new siding on our house...its been a long, slow process but its getting there. We are currently waiting on a quote for the new front porch as well. We know nothing more about the house we want to buy, other than they are not accepting any offers with a subject to sale (of our home), so we need to sell before anything can happen. We had someone come look last week - when we know what they are doing, then we will decide if we are going to list it. Tough decisions to come - in the mean time, we will keep puttering away at the things we want to get done, and see what happens.
We have had a bit of company in the last few weeks - one of my besties from high school, Cartwright and her fiance Cary stopped in last weekend for a great, but wayyyyy to short of visit (come for a week next time pleeaasseee!!!!!) and my aunt Kathy came last night. We had such a great time and such a great visit. Come again anytime Kath! Let this be heard by all of you - stop for a visit! Anytime. We are *usually* around and love company. We have a place for you to sleep and there's always coffee and beer. I am not kidding. We are a perfect halfway mark between Calgary and anywhere... and Vancouver and everywhere else. You are invited!
Brian is working like crazy so that's good - a far cry from this time last year, so we'll take it. We know how tough it is when he isn't working (he was laid off from March 10th until July1st last year, to say it was tough is actually an understatement), so when he is working - we don't complain about long days away - it can come to an end way to quickly.
I have been managing to get some 'me time' in... which is always great! Some time alone and some time with great friends, with out my littley around swallowing up all my attention. Its always muchly appreciated (and needed and deserved!!!).

I know there were way more things I wanted to write about but now I cant remember what they were, so I will end this with the things we are loving right now:

1) Playing at the pool with our friends
at charlees house at the pool!

(miss charlee needed a little nap at the pool. she is such a sweet baby. we cant wait until she can play!)

maizey and bailey in corbins pool while he napped!

2) Visiting Our Favorite Little Doherty Family!
(what can I say, this picture was not easy to get!)

3) Playing in the sand

4) How Maizey has started to sleep. If I slept like that I wouldn't walk for a week after.

And 5) These FABULOUS bonnets that I ordered and am *patiently* waiting for... They are SO fun!

OK, thanks for listening. And please, leave me a comment telling me what you are loving these days!

On Canada Day

We dressed in red and white and hit up the park, the parade and the plaza festivities.

We are proud to be Canadian!
Happy First Canada Day (a few days late) Maizey Rae!

Amy:1 Rainy Crappy Day:0

What started out as a very exciting day with big plans and lots of excitement, by 2:00 had changed to a 'this day sucks and I am going to crawl into bed and feel sorry for myself while I try and get warm' kind of a day. We were up early this morning, ignoring the clouds and possible rainy forecasts, packing a picnic and our beach clothes and toys and snack for Missy. We were cleaning out the truck, and going for a quick coffee with Nana and paying property taxes (booo). We were excited to be going to spend the day with Cartwright and Cary in Salmon Arm at the beach. But one thing after another fell through and before I knew it, plans were canceled and we were left with a huge picnic and no where to eat it. It started with the wind blowing and the gray sky. Not much for beach weather really. Then Maizey opted for an all day nap rather than a morning nap (4 HOURS people. That's just ridiculous, and of course, only happens when we have plans) Then it got to be just too late to meet them before they had to meet up with other friends. So, I curled up in bed and whined about the crappy-ness of this day. Precisely 5 minutes after I started whining, Brian told me to quit being a baby and make a new plan. The NERVE. So I kicked him out of MY room and whined to myself for 10 more minutes. The I got up, wiped the whiny look off my face and made a new plan.
When Maizey woke up, we took half the picnic (which turned out to be un-necessary), loaded up the truck and headed to the Hot Springs. It turned into an awesomely fun afternoon just the three of us in a giant bath tub!

Maizey loved the hot pool. She splashed, kicked, got dunked (and didn't even cry. We did it three times!!), blew bubbles, drank some pool water and just played and played.

Like Mother Like Daughter

We were having such a good time, but these little wrinkled feet told us it was probably time to go.

So, next time I wont even bother with the pouting... I will just find the happiness and fun in the day anyways.