Not So Wordless Wednesday - Crappy Hot Water Tank

Dear Hot Water Tank,
  I would just like to say thank you for crapping out on us. I really appreciate it. I am so happy that we got to spend three hundred and fifty bucks to replace you - I can think of a million things that I really didn't want instead of you... Like my new camera or the photography course next weekend. Because seriously? I didn't care less about those things. You on the other hand? I am so thrilled to have a new brother to you around here. You obviously helped us out on really cold days when we needed to have a hot shower and you of course provided the necessary hot water we need to wash the dishes and make sure they come out clean and sanitized. And don't forget the... oh wait - that's all you did. Other than that I guess you really don't provide us with anything else - like say.... fun and games, or even something nice to look at, or something useful like a shelf. Nope, you just sat downstairs in the corner being not nice looking and taking up a lot of space (which just so you know, we don't have a lot of, so thanks for that one too). I hope your new life is great - where we are taking you, your neighbors are trash and old piles of crap. I hope you are excited. Just remember, this was your choice. It didn't have to end this way,but you, for some reason decided you didn't want to be here anymore. I don't think I will ever understand what happened, but just know - that I was perfectly happy with you and would have kept you around forever if it had been up to me. Good luck at that dump you headed to. I hear it gets really hot and stinky on that side of town. I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not. Like I said, this was your choice.
I wont miss you, since we have already replaced you. So just for good measure - good riddance. And eff you. I hate you.
Your old friend/owner
AMY