Thursday, December 13, 2012

Ahhh.... Home

After winning terrible blogger of the year award.... bows.... I'm back.
We were on our annual mini mountain vacation and well, they have tv at their house. Not just tv - satellite tv. Which meant every night after the kids went to bed I could kick back in the soft leather recliner with Nanas handmade afghan spread over me, a warm cup of tea in hand and watch endless hours of witty, hilarious, awesome, almost-make-me-pee-my-pants-laughing-so-hard, never before seen by me television. Hello Duck Dynasty, nice to meet you. Why The Mindy Project, I think you and I are about to become BFF's. How did I not know that such gold existed out there? Oh yes, I don't have tv, that's how. So, I watched a shit-load of tv and I don't even feel a tiny bit guilty about it, because I'm home now, and have had to say goodbye to Live! With Kelly and Michael and Ellen and that's just a little bit sad. But five weeks is a long time and I am happy to be home.
Anyways, we are basically the same, expect we all have colds and we are trying to get used to being within two feet of each other again (their house is SO much bigger than ours. Wow. I don't need a big house, it's a loooot more work to keep that sucker clean) and also, we are super happy to be here. We missed our little house.
Jace has become a little walking mess of destruction. He has to touch everything, all the time. Walks by the stove? Pulls the dishtowels off the handle. Walks by the couch? Throws the pillows on the floor. Spies an errant boot by the door? Picks it up and takes it to the bath tub. Notices I forgot to put the lock back on the cupboard under the sink? Opens it and sticks his fingers in the tin of bacon grease. Spots the wipes? Rips as many out as he can before I get there to stop him. He is a straight up little turd right now. Oh, and he learned to go down the stairs. He pretty much lives on them. It's not annoying at all. Riiiigghhhtt. It's super annoying.
Maizey is basically a little mother hen following behind him, giving me the play by play of what he is doing and attempting to stop him from doing it. He's almost as big as her, but she's still stronger and has better balance, so she's got that at least. She tries to make him talk and when he's actually not saying a word at all, but he uses it in reference to something specific every time, she says I think that's just how he says it. 

Jace can you say Maizey? 
Sayyyy Maizey....
But can you say Maizey??
I think he must be saying Maizey like Mama. 

She totally gets that from me. 

For the first time in three years, we cut our own Christmas tree down instead of buying it and while it may not be the beautiful tree of my childhood, it's not the Third Resident Evil movie of trees either. It's not terribly prickly and if you shield the backside with your hand while looking at it from the side, it actually looks pretty good. It'll do.

The holidays are quickly approaching, which means my time spent on the internet looking for something awesome for my husband has grown exponentially. No Brian, "computer parts" is not helpful. I tried to order him one thing, but my severe allergy to ridiculous shipping fees kicked in at the exact worst moment and I couldn't bring myself to click the purchase button. I refuse to pay more in shipping than the actual item costs. So, every day it's looking more and more like a g/c to Bass Pro, which is what he actually wants, so I should just quit worrying and do it already.

After waiting for freaking ever for him to get home and help me put the lights up on the house, I had a small hissy fit and did it myself. In the pouring rain. But then he got here and informed me I started in the wrong place. You know what you don't say to your wife? That she did it wrong. Anyways, the lights are up and I'm over it. clearly. 

I will probably never get caught up on all we did in the last month. It was super dark and rainy pretty much the whole month, so I took like, six pictures which is so not normal for me. I did deep clean our house while we were away and approximately five minutes after getting home it was a total disaster zone. I don't know, I'm still up in the air about keeping a clean house. Over rated?? We haven't been late for school since we got home. Ahem. I can't say the same for the last month. We ordered an electric fireplace and it came in and I don't know what tape measure I was looking at when we ordered it, but 40" ?? Not tall. It looks like it was made for a hobbits house. It's going back asap. (So. Hobbit? or hobbit? We can't decide. big H or little h?? ) We have been home a week now and I still can't find all my clothes and Jaces socks keep turning up in the strangest places. Maizey has woken Jace up with her middle of the night antics only twice, which I'm considering a win, because she has pulled them exactly six of the last seven nights, so two is pretty good, considering they didn't sleep in the same room for exactly five weeks prior.
All of this to say, I'm behind on this blog, and while attempting to catch up, I am all over the place and random. It shouldn't be long and I will be back. There are important things to document, like Jaces current obsession with apples and my figuring out how to see old posts on facebook. Also, things are gonna get crafty in here for Christmas, so hopefully there will be a post about that.
Random and all, at least I am home.


  1. Crafty eh! Can hardly wait to hear all about it and see the finished products.
    Had some great laughs reading this blog.
    I did not know that there was a rule book for putting up lights but I guess there are rule books for a lot of things. I must admit that I seem to have a been born with the ability to make the bed correctly every time which a certain nameless person can not grasp.

  2. I vote that keeping a clean house (all the time) is over rated. I've never heard any Grandparent say "I really wish I spent more time cleaning my house when my kids were young". However, this is coming from someone who loves the quote "excuse the mess, my children are making memories", so I might not be the best person to ask.