Sunday, July 10, 2011

Alone Time

I managed to sneak away tonight for some time to catch my breath. Brian has been killing himself trying to make his miles and get a few extra days off, which means us being home with out him a lot, and that in turn leads to everyone being exhausted and miserable. It caught up with us tonight. I was sighing dramatic sighs as I did the dishes and he was stomping dramatic stomps as he tried to wrangle Maizey into the bath and then into her p.j's. It was ugly and unpleasant.
When it was all said and done, Maizey was in bed, albeit not sleeping, but still. Brian was sitting at the computer and I was walking out the door.
It was very quiet. A look between the two of us followed by an unspoken understanding. A little if I don't get the hell out of here I might strangle you. 

So in my random thoughtlessness that I am enjoying thoroughly right now, I am breathing in a dose of its really not that bad. No really, its not. So she cried wolf about going to the potty three times at dinner, once while her frozen yogurt popsicle was dripping down her arms and all over the floor, big deal. So I dropped the spatula covered in greasy taco beef all onto my formerly un-washed for six-ish-months up until two days ago, floor and watched it splatter all over the place. I guess this time it won't be six months before its washed again. So my legs are aching because I was up half the night with that bitch, heartburn, slowly trying to kill me. It just means I am going to sleep realllllly well tonight (right?). So we have one more day to get through with out Brian. (Hopefully) then he will be home for 4 days IN A ROW!!! 
I ran into a friend at the farmers market yesterday and while standing beside the coffee roasters, right in the middle of the only walkway through, we talked about blogging and how it makes you look at your life differently. Mostly because, lets be honest, no one wants to hear you complain all the time. So it forces me to look at my life in a light that is spun with positivity and happiness, not wahhh wahh wahhh feel sorry for me.

Tonight, I admit, I was feeling sorry for myself. So I sat down here, at this rickety little table that wobbles with every movement, to write about how crappy it was that my husband has to go on very little sleep to get extra trips in, to get days off, not even extra days, just any. And how Maizey pooped on the porch floor today and I didn't want to clean it up, but, obviously, I had to. And how I hate hiding in the basement when its so nice outside, but seriously, if it gets any hotter, I will be forced to buy an air conditioner.
The list goes on. Its whiny and stupid and... I'm over it. In reality, those really are some minor problems.
I know its impossible (and ridiculous) to even try and be happy and positive all the time, so I accepted my whiny-ness, let it have its moment... and moved on.
I'm good now. Its getting dark and the bugs are coming out. I need to go home. I want to go home.


  1. You are allowed to have I'mgoingtostrangleI'vegottogetoutofhereIneedalonetimeandIneedsleepyouneedsleepsheneedssleepandithelpstowahwahwahwhinewhinewhineventventvent because you are human. You are an upbeat person, a smiler, laugher, great wife and mama and you won't be pregnant forever, the potty trainee will soon be potty trained and the man will be home to share the burden. Sorry that I don't live closer to help you out. Love, peace, serenity and warm blessings,T xoxoxo

  2. I love your take on life Amy. You help me to be a happier person. You call me on my crap like no one else can and you do it in a way that I don't feel judged (just loved and accountable). I'm glad you can take moments like this to yourself and reflect. I'm proud of you for making time for yourself - it's an important skill that not all mothers have (in my opinion).