Bedtime Monster

So, I might have done something that will for sure not win me the Mother Of The Year Award.
 Ok, I definitely did.

Yesterday in a desperate attempt to get Jace to fall asleep for a nap, while semi-restraining him in my arms on my bed, I told him that if he got out of bed again, he would turn into a monster. A MONSTER?? he asked. I went into great detail about why that would be so sad - because monsters have to live in caves way up high in the mountains. How they don't have toys to play with. How it's cold up there. How much we would miss him. Blah blah blah. It worked. He calmed down enough to fall asleep while still wrapped lovingly, and very tightly so as not to bust loose, in my arms. Perfect, this will be the new way I get him to go to sleep I said to myself while casually patting myself on the back. That's one for me.

So last night, it wound up being a late night because, yay me - I got him to have a long nap. (wait, that didn't seem so much like a win anymore.) It was okay, we were busy putting together a new bed we had bought for their room and they were super into the Tinker Bell movie we put on to keep them out of view of the fight that was sure to ensue when putting together a piece of Ikea (type) furniture as a couple. It was 9:15 by the time we were putting them down and it was wayyyy past their bedtime. The crying reminded us of that very fact. Anyways, we got them tucked in, and I leaned in to snuggle Buddy and casually remind him what would happen if he got out of bed. This time I maybe added a little more. Like, that if he got out of bed, an evil witch would turn him into the monster. And we all know that you don't want to fuck with an evil witch, right? Even a two year old knows that. So, he rolled over, snuggled his back into me and was asleep in literally seconds. Again, with the pat on the back. I am soooo winning. I climbed up onto Maizeys new bed to snuggle her quickly when out of nowhere up the ladder comes Jace, vibrating. He climbs over us, gets under her covers and is asleep in seconds again. What the hell was that? I wondered. Oh well, he's asleep. I got Maizey settled down and left their room. I don't know, maybe five minutes of peaceful silence went by before an absolutely terrified scream came from their room. Thats weird, we said to each other. Brian went to see what was going on and was gone a long time. He came back with a story about how he's never seen Jace like that before. He seemed like he was terrified of something. He leapt at me off of Maizeys bed with no regard to falling or me catching him. And he was kind of shaking. I don't know what that was all about, but I snuggled him and got him calmed down and he fell asleep again in his own bed. Maizey said she tried to help him, but he was just screaming and screaming. I knew. I knew what the problem was, but I wasn't just going to say what I had done. I mean, I wasn't like, 100% positive. It could have been any number of reasons that he was so scared. Awhile later, I tried to act as though I had just remembered, I casually mentioned what I had done to get him to go to sleep earlier and that maybe I had done it again tonight, and that maybe I had added an evil witch. Brian gave me the look. You know, the one that says that was so stupid of you. There were very few words exchanged over it.

Cut to tonight. Buddy remembers and he is afraid. He climbed straight into bed, he snuggled down, he whispered to me no witch mama, no monster. His eyes were darting around nervously and every sound Maizeys bed made above him, had him snuggling down further under his covers. He didn't take his hand off my arm, he barely moved. You guys, he is seriously afraid. I whispered that there is no witch, it was just pretend, he won't turn into a monster, it was just to be *ahem* funny. He didn't believe me, or maybe he did, but he still didn't get out of bed. He called me to ask if he could go to the bathroom, which has never happened, ever.

I feel bad. I won't say it anymore. I don't want him to be afraid of going to bed. At least, not THAT afraid. But I do want him to go to bed and stay there. I don't want him to come upstairs a million times every night and get into trouble almost that many. I don't want him to need 75 drinks and to go to the bathroom 15 times in one hour. I know it's all fake just to get to keep coming up. I want him to go to bed at 7:30 and go to sleep. He's tired. But he's wired and he has a hard to settling down. We've tried reading many many calming stories before bed, having a warm bath, watching some tv, snuggling with him, locking his door, leaving a lamp on, singing songs. Putting Maizey to bed first. Putting him to bed first. I'm out of ideas. Our (my) new tactic won't work. I mean, it will, but at what expense?! Our old ways stopped working. All of the in-between ways didn't seem to be much better. I'm getting to the end of my rope. I am losing my mind having him stay up until 8:30-9:00-9:30 every night and then get up at 6:00 every morning, at the latest. I feel like I am not getting enough time to decompress at night. I need some quiet time, those two hours every night are literally the only silence I get all day. I'm desperate for this stage to pass and bed time to get easy again. I don't want him to turn into a monster, I just want him to stop acting like one.

Snow Day(ish)

I have spent more time than I care to admit, worrying about our morning routine and what I am teaching our kids.
You see, we have gotten into this nice little groove of quiet mornings. The kids eat their breakfast at the coffee table while watching Bubble Guppies on Netflix. I sip my coffee and eat my toast at the computer, catching up on internet stuff. It's slow, it's lazy and you know what, it's really nice.
A few weeks ago Maizey and I were discussing when would be a good time to have her friend Corbin over for a sleep over. We decided it shouldn't be a weekend because his weekends are full of family time and it shouldn't be a school day, since they go to different schools, so... that left us two nights in a week. TWO. That seems crazy. September will be here before we know it and suddenly they will be in Kindergarten, which is full time here. Five days a week, all day. That sobering though dissipated any guilt I felt over letting my kids stay in their pj's and watch tv every morning. Seven short months from now, it's all over. 
This morning we woke up to (an unofficial count says) 46 cm's of snow. FORTY SIX CENTIMETERS. Thats 18 inches in case you don't know. We were out the door at 7:20 to shovel. It took Brian and I, together, 50 minutes to get it done. Yes, we get a lot of snow. No, I am not surprised. No, I am not complaining. 46 cm's is a lot, I don't care who you are, where you grew up or what your local status is compared to mine. It's a lot of snow. The kids had a freaking blast wading through it this afternoon. Maizeys pre school class still went outside to play, despite not being able to see the playground. I made it to my 9:20 dentist appt, on time, and so did my dental hygienist. We just seem to carry on, no amount of snow stopping us. Our roof will need to be shoveled soon. Our city was ALL OVER the snow removal today and (at least in my neighborhood) kicked ass as it.
I've seen statuses all day of getting help being pushed out, needing help being pushed out, calling a snow day for themselves since one wasn't called for everyone, going skiing, wishing they were going skiing, epic day to be skiing. Some saying I hate snow, why do we live here, I want winter to be over.  Others saying I love snow, THIS is why we live here, I want it to keep snowing all month long. 
I'm neither here nor there regarding the snow. I don't live here because of it, nor do I want to move away because of it. (The rain is another story. I swear to Ghandi if it starts raining tomorrow, I'm OUT OF HERE.). But I can say one thing for sure, I will keep on enjoying our quiet mornings inside, in our pj's drinking coffee and watching Bubble Guppies. I don't need to be out there shoveling snow at 7:30 every morning. 

She Said. Also, Not That Awesome.

Maizey: Mom, what do you call a kid cow?

Me: That would be a calf.

Maizey: No, thats a baby cow, I mean like a kid age?

Me: (uhhh, ok???) Um, I suppose that could be a heifer.

Maizey: Ok. And what about a dad cow?

Me: That would be a bull.

Maizey: Ok. So you would just be a cow cow then, right?

Me: Ummm, me? No, I am not a cow. I am a human, remember?

Maizey: No, not anymore. We are a family of cows now. Buddy is a calf cow, I am a heifer cow, dad is a bull cow and you are a cow cow.

Me: (head spins in a circle). I don't want you to call me a cow in public, ok?!!