On The Eve Of My 30th Birthday

I'm turning 30 tomorrow.

I waver between being perfectly fine with it and crying into my bottle of coors light over it.

I had to fill out a form today where I had to check an age box. Obviously I checked the 25-29 category because today? I am totally still 29.

I'd say I'm like 80/20. I'm mostly fine until I have to say the words. Thhhhirtty. It doesn't sound nice. I kind of choke it out every time.

I don't know why it's hard to say. I mean, I'm doing awesome, I have a fantastic life with a wicked family that loves me so freaking much. I feel good, I like to think I'm a pretty young (almost) 30 year old, I ran a 1/2 marathon a few months ago. I have the worlds absolute best friends. I'm happier and more confident with myself than ever before. I care less and less about what other people think of me and more and more about being happy with myself. It's weird to feel weird about it, when I am actually super happy with where I am at in life.

Ang came over today and I was wiping a thick layer of dust out of a window sill and cleaning a cobweb out of the top corner of it (no joke. don't judge me) and she was like, oh great - now that you are 30 you have to deep clean your house? and we laughed and laughed. 

I have had a line from the Friends episode The One Where They All Turn 30 stuck in my head all day...
  
      "Monica, you remember mean old Mrs. Kreeger in the 5th grade? She was 30!!"

Naturally, I will be watching that episode tonight.

Last weekend, my girlfriend Chelsea turned 30 (she's wayyy older than me) and we hit the bar as though we were 20. She wore a sash and carried a wand and we stormed the bar in style. A young blonde bimbo bounded over and asked in a high pitched voice who's birthday it was? I pointed Chelsea out and then she exclaimed that it was her birthday on Monday. Oh fun, I said, it's mine on Thursday. She asked how old I was turning so I told her the truth. Oh! She said, I'm turning 21.
Bitch.




Anyways, to ease the transition, I booked a trip for Brian and I. Next weekend, we are off to San Francisco. I will make the jump into my 30's in style.
Until then, I will weep over my lost youth and wrinkles on my forehead.