Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Winnie Turned Six Months. I Cried.

Dear Winnie,
Happy half birthday, sweet girl.
Where the heck have six months gone? I'm pretty sure I have only blinked a few times, and I know for sure that I have barely slept, yet here we are. Six months. Half a year is gone.
The last time I will have a six month old.
Literally every day I am torn between savoring every single one of these last moments with my last baby, and wishing it away. Wanting you to be bigger, older, doing more. The second I feel like that, I am torn back to wanting you to stay a baby forever, because god damn it, I just really love babies. I just really love YOU as a baby.

You are so snuggly. You could just sit in my arms and on my lap all day. You love to fall asleep laying on my chest and if I put my face up close to yours you gently lean in so we are face to face. If I had to pick one thing to keep forever, it would be the snuggling.
You started out so big and now you are so tiny. Barely breaking the 15th percentile. A whopping 13lbs 12 ounces yesterday at you six month appointment. So tiny, so sweet.
You started eating solid food last week and you're pretty so-so about it so far. You couldn't seem to care less. It's not that you are refusing to eat, it's just... you're like meh, I will just open my mouth this tiny bit, see how much you can get in. I think it's all the distractions. Maybe I should start feeding you when no one else is around.
You roll over like a champ and definitely prefer to be on your belly pushed up on your arms, looking around. You can spin around and push yourself around on the floor. I don't think it's super intentional yet, but the strength is there, so I imagine it's coming soon. You started sitting up with little to no assistance just this past weekend and are getting sturdier and sturdier every day. You also prefer to sleep on your belly (and only in your crib. theres barely a carseat nap to be had these days), you roll yourself over in the night and sleep wayyyy more soundly. You are still the quiestest sleeper in the history of ever and it continues to freak me the freak out. It's not normal Winnie, people make sounds when they are sleeping, you know, like breathing sounds. WHERE ARE ALL THE BREATHING SOUNDS WINNIE? No, seriously?! But that leads to my next thought. What happened to all the glorious, wonderful, long, restful nights we used to have? What happened to you? To that? TO US? I gotta tell ya, this 3, 4, 5 times waking up at night? It's killing me. Stop it. Stop it now. Once? Twice even. But FIVE? How about no. Okay, glad we cleared that up.

You have two cute little bottom teeth and we have been patiently waiting for one on the top to cut through. Except it hasn't been patiently, it's been a lot of screaming and fevers and face rashes and crying. Some of the crying even comes from you. Anwyays, I've always hated that bitch the tooth fairy and now I hate her more. She makes you miserable. I hope it cuts through soon so you can go back to your happy self.
You currently love chewing on blankets, pulling my hair, gently touching my face and giggling when we surprise you. You formerly loved being carried on me, but surprisingly you have started to love the stroller too. You seem immune to noise because Jace screams literally in your ears (not on purpose, he's a loud talker) and you barely even blink. You don't love being left alone in a room and make it quite clear that we have done so. You don't like baths, but sure do love a shower.
You are so loved. It feels like you have been around forever. Maizey adores being a big sister to you, distracting you and holding you. She can make you happy most of the time and we often comment what a great sister she is. Jace also adores you, and besides the odd time that he gives you trouble for touching him, he likes to share his most sacred toys with you and climbs into your bed every morning just to check if you are awake, which you never are so he always wakes you up. It's equally infuriating and adorable. haha.
I want to remember these days with you. The way you look at me when I am feeding you and how even after you finish eating, you just like to lay across my lap in peace for awhile. The way you truly just need me (and a little bit daddy, but mostly just me). The way you smile and giggle and scream bloody murder. Your tiny little wrist creases,  and your deep and long thigh creases. Your raspberry blowing face, your ridiculously and beautifully long eye lashes and your bascically bald and perfectly round head. The way you are my last baby and I won't get these moments back and how precious this time with you really is.

Happy half birthday Winnie the pooh.
We cannot imagine our lives without you.
We love you. SO much.
Love, Mama and Daddy

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