My Grannie

I was one of the lucky ones when I was a kid. I had grandparents, three of them, that I got to see all the time.

Five years ago on Halloween, I lost my Grampa. One of my most favorite people in this whole world. He was missing one of his pointer fingers so when he pointed, he had to use his middle finger. A fact that never lost its funniness to me. He taught us all to play crib, and to this day, I still don't know if I ever actually beat him, or if he just let me win those few times.

Last September, I lost my Nona. She taught me to make orange rice, most of us grandchildrens favorite meal she made, and whenever I am in need of comfort food, its what I always turn to. She taught me many things, the least of which was to be the boss, always. She lost a long fight, and while yes, I know it's better to not be suffering, it doesn't make it any easier.

That left only my Grannie. Yesterday, April 1st, quickly and unexpectedly, I lost her too.


 

I don't know if I have words to accurately describe what she meant to me. To any of us. She was strict and serious and funny and loving all at the same time. I think she was happiest when she had all her family around... she wanted nothing more than people to come and visit and eat what she cooked. She did love to cook. Her cookie can was always full. I learned from her that gossip is futile, and that is a rule she stuck to religiously. I never heard a bad word about another person come from her mouth. 
I have to guess what my Grampa's relationship with great grandchildren would be like, and my Nona's as well, as she didn't have the opportunity to really get to know my brothers kids or Maizey. I am lucky not to have to guess what Grannies was like. I think she loved them even more than she loved all of us (grandkids), and she loved us A LOT. My sister in law took my nieces almost every week to visit and it made my Grannie so so so happy. She cooked deviled eggs for them (one whole egg, two halves, each) every Wednesday and just enjoyed watching them play.
It was always months in between visits for us, but for some reason I don't think Maizey ever forgot her. She made herself right at home, every time we went there. Maybe she smelled the cookies and was content. Hard to say. My Grannie was never one to dote, she always just took a more laid back approach. I think that's why Maizey always liked her so much, she didn't always want to hold her and touch her and be in her face, all things that Maizey has always appreciated.
Jaya was talking to my Mom yesterday afternoon, and with a big smile on her face told her that "Grannie Sheila is gone to heaven now" ...
I am not ready to smile, I am barely even ready to acknowledge it. There will  be one tiny little white haired woman missing on holidays and trips home. Its hard to fathom.