Three

To My Missy,

Three years baby girl, three years.

I have been hyper aware of every moment these last three days.

What I was doing at exactly this moment three years ago.

I have been remembering what I wore and what I ate and the people I talked to and as it got closer to bed time last night, I became even more aware of the minutes. I want to never forget what led up to you entering this world and changing my life. As I put you to bed last night I told you a little story about the night you were born, and you snuggled on my lap and asked to hear it again. When I finished you asked if you could see pictures. So I showed you. It's hard to remember you so small and warm and soft. You are getting so big and becoming less soft and more hard edges and long lines. There is hardly any baby fat left on you. There is hardly any baby left in you at all.

Your personality these days kills me. You are witty and strong willed and when I battle you, I want to scream, but inside I do a victory dance, for a passionate, strong, smart woman is what I hope you grow to be. You are thoughtful and kind and you have a little mama heart already, I think. You listen to everything we say and watch everything we do. When I hear you boss your friends around, I know you get it from me.
Your imagination is growing by the minute and when I see you leading your pretend dog on a walk, I smile. His name is Pal, by the way and this morning, he was sick, so you needed some medicine for him. Rice in an empty pill bottle did the trick and it kept you entertained for, I don't know, like, at least an hour. Maybe more. I love it.
You love being outside and spend most of every day in the back yard. You could dig in the dirt all day. You have been teaching Buddy what to do

     No Budski, dirt is not for eating. NO. NOOO. Mom, Buddy ate dirt. I tried to stop him.

Don't worry, you used to do it too. He'll get over it.
You have become very interested in how everyone fits together. Who my brothers are, who my moms mom is, who grampas mom is, why your cousins parents are dad and I's brothers and sisters. I can almost see your little brain trying to wrap itself around it all. You're figuring it out.
You are inquisitive and full of wonder. You keep telling us that you are learning. Like, if you try to pour yourself some milk and spill it everywhere, you say 'sorry, I'm just learning how to do it'. You're learning to tie shoe laces and learning how to start the truck - in your mind, not in reality.
You love us. You love me and daddy and Jace and you tell all of us, a lot. You play no favorites. No, thats not true, you do all the time, but it's never the same person, today it might be me, tomorrow it will be dad... it's always different. You want to hear I love you all the time, so we tell you too, a lot.

We are so so proud of the little girl you are and are continuing to become. I hope you keep your kind, compassionate heart forever. That you never stop learning and continue to grow forever. One thing I know for sure, is that you will continue to know how loved you are.
We love you baby girl. Happy 3rd Birthday.
xoxo
Love
Mama and Daddy

p.s. yesterday, you were laying on the floor in the kitchen, doing nothing in particular when you tried to reach for something. You couldn't quite reach it. You very casually exclaimed oh for fuck sakes.
Inside, I died laughing.
Outside, I told you that you shouldn't say that. It's not nice and we don't say it in our house (except we totally do. sorry.) . I hope you reserve those words for home and not, say, in school. And if anyone asks, you got it from Daddy. heh.

(see year one
       year two)