Sometimes my kids teach me to let go of expectations and ideas and just BE.
Friday I had planned on going to town and stopping for a coffee with my friend Paola whom I haven't been able to catch up with (like really catch up) for weeks and weeks. I had all the things I needed to get done planned out and we woke up with plenty of time to get out the house reasonably early. But we woke up to a little girl with the flu. It is heartbreaking to see your kids sick, she's never been sick before and I'm sure she was wondering what the deuce was going on. She informed me numerous times that she was birsty and needed some milk. It was sad.
We were without a daddy all day so there was no chance of a trip to town alone. It meant no groceries, no mail, no coffee or visit, no.... other things that seemed really important at the time. I was annoyed at having to stay home all day. Which made me annoyed at myself for being annoyed. I had plans and expectations and truth be told, just really wanted to go. I leave the house every day. We walk, we do errands, we do menial little crap that fills up time. We do things we have to and things we want to. I go alone. I go with one kid. I go with both kids. It's just what I do. But I had a sick little girl who wanted to curl up on the couch under warm, Nana knit afghans and watch 101 Dalmatians. She wanted to sit on my lap and snuggle. She was happy to be close to me. I finally let go of the idea that she would be better in the afternoon and we could go then. And this amazing thing happened. I relaxed. I put comfy clothes back on and dug a container of chicken broth out of the depths of the freezer for some good old homemade chicken noodle soup. I read stories and played with Dora. We watched 101 Dalmatians twice and she watched countless episodes of Backyardigans. I only went out to fill the furnace and change the chickens water. I was being the mama she needed me to be. It felt right and good. What could possibly be more important than that?
She woke up the next day much better.
Sunday she woke up sick again, but that's what Sundays are for right? To stay home.
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