Happy 9th Birthday, Maizey Rae

Maizey, Maizey, Maizey.

NINE YEARS OLD. 

Sheesh. 

Every single year of your life, I have thought that it couldn't get any better, but every single year it has. Goodness I just love being your mom, so damn much. 

You continue to be kind, friendly, helpful, curious, outgoing, adventurous and a real treat to be around. You also, in my opinion, feel like you are older than you actually are, and want to be a part of every adult conversation you can. I am constantly trying to find a balance between letting you be in the conversation and sending you away. We are also currently working on the concept of eavesdropping!!

Your adventurous spirit still cannot be contained, but you are a little bit pickier about what you do now. On occasion, it's hard to get you excited about doing anything strenuous, but once out there you always kick ass at it - small hikes and biking as an example. Its fun during, but getting you to go takes some convincing. You love camping and want to do more of it - we will definitely try and make that happen. Your favourite part is being curled up in your sleeping  bag reading by way of head lamp/flashlight. Which reminds me that your love of reading has grown to a point I didn't know possible. You check out many books every week from both the school and public library yet never seem to have anything to read?! You start your day reading and you end your day reading. I love love love it. You absolutely love the Land of Stories series and have read them all and even re-read the 1st book twice.

Your patience for Winnie and Jace has worn a little thin over the last year. I mean, you are still exponentially more patient than most people I know, but there have definitely been times where you have had enough and you have chosen screaming maniacally as your way of letting them know that. Its not annoying at all. Kidding, its incredibly annoying. You still have the patience of a saint for others though - like Henry and Franklin. You can still read them endless books, help them, play with them. I'm hoping with time that Winnie and Jace will get less annoying to you and that you will go back to being very patient pleaseandthankyou.

You did very well at school last year and were absolutely adored by your teacher, Ms. Maitland. She mentioned to me in your parent teacher interview that she was so glad to have you in her class for a second year because she loved having you so much the year before. That definitely made my mama heart swell... when other people see how special you are it gets me right in the heart. You havent made a solid little group of friends, you seem to have friendships in a variety of different groups, but none that stand out more than any others. Maybe this will be your year for that. Or maybe not, thats ok too. You seem to do just fine anyhow. That being said though, the friendships that seem to be the most important and comfortable to you are the ones you have had your whole life. Those are the ones that you can just be yourself in. I adore those relationships and promise to work hard to keep those up for you for years to come.



For some reason, you have decided you think it is cute and funny to talk in a baby voice regularly. Its terrible!!! Seriously. We are alllll over you about it and want it to stop now!!!  
 You are still a collector of stuff. Rocks, sticks, bark. yep, all of it still. Seashells, empty jewelry boxes, tin cans. You want to bring anything and everything you find home. It makes me absolutely crazy. Your room is a giant mess all the time and you insist that you love it that way and have no intention on changing that. Consequently, I got tired of cleaning up all your crap and you got all your clothes but one small drawer full, taken away. It has helped, but to be honest, you just still have stuff all over the floor - I don't even know where it all comes from??!! I am interested to see if you will outgrow this, or if you are destined to be messy forever? Time will tell!

You claim to have no favourite foods currently, as well as no favourite music. I call shenanigans. You still want sushi all the time and literally lick your plate clean when we have chicken pot pie, so I say with confidence that those are still your favourites. You love almost any songs sung by Kelsi Ballerini, Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson and Sam Hunt. You also love the Greatest Showman soundtrack, Brand New eyes from the Wonder sountrack and a spotify playlist called Movie Music: Kids Classics.

 

I love how helpful you are. You switch over loads of laundry without being asked, you load the dishwasher, scrub the stove, were eager to learn how to clean the bathrooms, help Winnie get dressed/comb her hair/brush her teeth, do up seat belts. You on occasion get a bit exasperated by it, but you still do it. We are working on the other kids to be as helpful, so hopefully you will get a break soon. haha. You really love starting the truck right now too, which is fun to watch! You get to sit with Dad in the drivers seat out at Nana and Papas are practicing "threading the needle" (pull into their driveway) by yourself. You are actually pretty good at it and rarely need help from Dad.

 

This past year has been crazy to watch you grow and change. You love staying home alone and have even done a bit of short babysitting, which I completely trust you to do. You are super trustworthy and have been known to be a really good decision maker. You are certainly quickly becoming a big kid and I love it. But also, it kind of kind of kills me. Its complicated. But what isn't complicated is how much we love being around you, taking you on adventures, showing you new things, and watching you continue to grow into who ever it is you are becoming. We hope you always know how adored you are and how fiercely loved you are.
Happy 9th Birthday, Meemsicle.
I can't wait to see who you are at the end of this year.
Love, Mom and Dad.

p.s as your birthday present, you get to get your ears pierced. You went from ecstatic, to saying you actually aren't ready after all, to on the fence, back to ecstatic. I suppose the next 2 weeks will tell if you are able to go through with it. Good luck! 

10 Short Years

Ten years ago, I woke up next to my little Hummel before the crack of dawn and whispered giddily Im getting marrrrriiiieeeeddd . I hope I never forget that excitement and love. I remember feeling like my heart could about burst with all of it. We drank coffee and Baileys, I gave Brian a pep talk over the phone about how he was going to get through the day and I waited nervously for the time to come.



If I could go back today and do it differently, the only thing I would change would be apple and pumpkin pie for dessert. And I'd run down that grassy isle rather than walk.



Ten short years. Every time I think it legitimately can't get better, it of course does.
I love you more now than I did then.
Even though you don't know the difference between a sausage and smokie, I'd still choose you every single damn time.
Happy Anniversary, Bri.
I love you.

Happy 6th Birthday, Buddy

Dear Jace,
   Today you are six years old.
WHAT?! That means that all the things that *I feel like six year olds should do on their own, you are going to start doing, right??!! hahaha, we can all just have a good laugh at that.
For real though, I love that you are six and I am so looking forward to this year of your life. I am certain its going to be your (our) best one yet.
Your favorite place to be right now is sitting on the kitchen counter (feet and all) or standing at the sink washing dishes. I love letting you help do the dishes. You are chatty and funny while doing it, plus you do a really good job.



Your current favorite songs are Blackbird by The Beatles (Boss baby version), I'm Still Standing by Elton John (Sing version) and True Colors by Justin Timberlake (The Trolls version) .... so pretty much you are obsessed with movie sound tracks right now and those 3 stand out. We listen to a lot of the music from those movies and you love it! If you could just sit and listen to it on my phone all day, you would be happy.

I am going to say it - I think you are a bit of a home body. And that is terribly hard for your extremely extroverted mom to wrap her head around. I mean, you like going a few places in town, and over to our friends houses. But, out of town? Oh you never want to do that. You are not a road trip fan and if given the choice you would almost always stay home. You also still get terribly car sick, so that doesn't help. Last October we finally got you prescription nausea meds and it helped 1000% .... you were like a new kid on road trips, but then you decided you don't like the taste of it and now won't take it. We've forced it a few times, but have since given up. We *may* have found the answer in the form of pressure point bracelets and essential oils on your tummy. Fingers crossed.



Your favorite food is fruit. Thats it. Although you do pretty much eat everything, fruit is your go-to #1 food. I am perfectly fine with that.

You love playing made up games with Maizey and Winnie. "lets pretend Im.... and lets pretend you're.... " and that can go on for hours at a time. Usually an unbelievably big mess accompanies that, but I usually just have to take what I can get. I will take playing with no fighting with a mess. I think you just like it best when you are playing with them. Or when you guys get to watch a movie/show together. I will find all of you huddled in the corner of the couch, under one blanket, happily snuggled up. Its one of my favorites to see.

You don't get to watch a ton of tv even though you love it. Pretty much just a movie on Friday nights. Your behavior goes a bit off the rails if you watch too much, so probably about 6 months ago, we had to shut it down completely and have slowly let it back into your life. It was a great reset for you.

You absolutely love "relaxing baths" ; epsom salt and lavender oil. It's made a huge difference in your life. I love putting a calm and relaxed Jace to bed at night.

You know how to read. You just refuse to do it for me. I have overheard you many times in the last few weeks reading books to yourself, but when I ask to sit and listen you clam up, say you don't know how and beg me to read it to you. I'm proud of you. Also annoyed you won't read to me. haha. I want to hear you, so come on already!!!



We have spent a lot of time this year just trying to figure out what makes you tick. How to speak your language. How to get you to do what you need/we want you to do without it always being a huge freaking fight and ending with everyone in tears. We have tried to figure out how to meet you where you are at. We've come a long way and we still have a long way to go.

You are currently afraid to be basically anywhere in our house alone. Your bedroom, the kitchen, sometimes the living room. Downstairs - absolutely not. Outside - nope. It has been incredibly frustrating because it feels like we've gone backwards -back to helping you get dressed, supervising your every move outside, feeling like you are always clinging to us. But we had to let it go, and like I said, meet you where you are at. Ok, you currently don't want to be alone. So rather than arguing about it and then ending up being there with you in the end, we ask you to do it and when you ask us to come, we do. Its cut down on fighting and time wasting and it's getting done and we are hopeful that one day soon you will move on from this. Please, go back to being independent and capable. Please. Until then, at least I still get to pick your clothes - so I suppose that's the up side!
We have also worked a lot on talking about controlling emotions. Ohhhhh man, do you know how to show us a lot of emotions. Some times all of them at a very heightened level and all at once. It's intense. You cry a lot. You argue a lot. You fight a lot. You laugh hysterically a lot. You go from here to there and back to here very quickly and loudly and often. You often feel misunderstood - meaning when we think you are being mean, you are just trying to "play" (your words), so that has lead to a lot more talking about being respectful about what the people you are trying to play with are saying to you. When we say STOP, you should stop, because that's respectful. Blah blah blah. You've heard it all a million times and you will continue to hear it until you finally start doing it. But that being said, we have also tried to, again, meet you where you're at. So if you are getting rowdy and wanting to play in a rougher way, we try and be silly with you. I suppose we have worked on trying to play the way you like to (while of course still being appropriate and kind), rather than just the way we want you to. Does that make any sense? I hope so. We really just want all of us to be having fun and getting along. Thats legit all we are trying to get at.



The truth is, we've had some hard days this last year. Some not very proud moments for Mom. Some very bad moments. But at the end of every day, we just always wanted you to know, that despite those tough moments, you are very very loved. We all get upset, we all cry, we all have emotions that we need to work through, and at the end of the day, if you go to bed knowing we love you, then thats all that matters. We are pretty sure the rest will sort itself out with time and patience.

You are our favorite Buddy, Budski, Buds, Jace. You make us laugh, you make us crazy and you have the absolute most genuine smile. You mean it when you smile and I love that about you. You give really good hugs and like to hang on for a long time. You get up before 6:00 every single morning and really prefer if I am up before you. I oblige and we spend mornings together, playing cards, eating breakfast, going for bikes rides. You like a good breakfast sandwich and oatmeal full of fruit and chocolate chips, a big plate of fries, and sushi. You like to say everything you drink is coffee or beer and its basically always water. You don't like cold or slippery clothes and you love wearing gloves. You refused sandals all summer. You know who you are and are unwavering in that.

I can't wait to see what your sixth year brings. I'm hoping for lots of laughs and adventures and some good friday nights, watching movies.

We love you so much, Buddy.
Happy happy happy birthday.
Love, Mom and Dad.

Happy 8th Birthday Maizey Rae

Maizey Rae!
Today you are eight years old.
I love it. And it simultaneously kills me.
Maybe I've said this every year, maybe I haven't; either way, I can barely believe I have been your mom for EIGHT WHOLE YEARS. There have been some very long days, and these years have been very short. That saying is not a lie. I haven't loved every single minute of these years, but I have loved YOU every single minute of them.
You are an absolute gift to our family and we could not feel more blessed to have you in it. You continue to be kind, happy, easy going, friendly, welcoming, curious and fun. You are always up for an adventure. In fact, I couldn't possibly plan enough adventures to appease you. You always want to be going, doing, seeing. You are an absolute extrovert, and I can say in 100% confidence that you got that from me. Right now, since you need me for all of your adventures, it's sometimes (ok, a lot of the time) exhausting, but I really do love it. I am certain your sense of adventure and love of people will take you some amazing places in your life, and I can't wait to witness that.



You love reading and can often be found a long time after your light should have been out, cuddled in bed reading away. You aren't picky and often surprise me with your choices - Archie comics, magazines, Geronimo Stilton, old Westerns, Little House on The Prairie - you are enthralled with them all. You are also always willing to sit down and read to Jace or Winnie or Henry or Frankie, or really anyone that asks. You don't mind waiting however long it takes for me to get the other kids to bed at night because it means you get more time to read. I absolutely love this.



You love climbing your tree and giving tree climbing classes to the other kids. You like swinging and biking and looking for cool forest treasures. There are always pieces of bark, rocks, sticks, moss or dirty leaves in your pockets, on your bedroom floor, in the side pocket of the car door, in your backpack.... ok, its always everywhere. Its dirty and makes me crazy. But it brings you joy, so I suppose I should lay off of you, right? Maybe just start cleaning it up better and I will allow it! haha. Anything that you can use your imagination for, you are interested in. You are handy to have around in cases such as, when we are camping and don't have a clothes line - you rig up something using sticks and some vine you find on the forest floor. Thats a skill, taking what you have and making it work for you. That one you got from your dad I guess, because it definitely wasn't me.


(this was your paddle for the paddle board you guys made out of drift wood)

You are legitimately the best big sister ever. I mean, those kids do not know how good they have it. You share every single thing you have/get, you let them go first, sit where they want (even if you were there first), play with anything they want (even if you had it first), help them when they need it, help them when they dont want it and aren't being nice, make sure they are safe, entertain them.... the list goes on and on. Dad and I are lucky you are such a helpful, kind big sister, there are not enough words to explain how much help it is for us and we are so appreciative of it.
You did so well at school last year, we are so proud of the friend you are and how well you do in class. You practice hard at the work that is sent home (spelling words) and your tests show that. You have seriously messy printing!!! I am always telling you to slow down and write neater, but you would just rather not. Maybe this will be the year that you figure that out, maybe not. :)
You recently started loving fried eggs and raisin english muffins. Your favourite food is still chicken pot pie and request it on a weekly basis. Also still obsessed with sushi. You claim to like sparking water but you make a hilarious face at every sip and get through maybe 4 sips before you are done. We keep telling you its ok not to like it, but for some reason you just really want to. You don't care for milk or yogurt or bananas, but you love banana bread. You eat everything we give you, even if you don't like it! Thanks for that!



You don't exactly have a favourite song right now, but one of your favourite things to do is listen to a playlist on Spotify called "Chilling on a dirt road" .... You like to get dads old cell phone and a pair of ear buds and sit somewhere quiet and listen to it. You know all the songs and are always singing. Your favourite artist is definitely Luke Bryan so we listen to him a lot.
Tonight at bed time, you saw me get a bit weepy while tucking you in and telling you all the reasons I love being your mom. You just truly, truly, truly make us so happy. We are figuring out together how to navigate this having an older kid and some days it's harder than others, but I think we are doing a pretty good job, all of us together.
Thanks for being so darn awesome. We love you. Really, really love you.
Happy 8th birthday, Missy moo.
Love, Mom and Dad.

Happy 2nd Birthay Winnie

Dear Winnie,
Happy 2nd Birthday, sweet girl. It feels incredibly surreal for my last baby to already be two years old. Did I snuggle you enough? (hopefully). Did I get enough videos of you toddling around? (Probably not). Do we have record of your little voice and your first words and steps and moments? (I sure hope so). Two years, lady. I love you more now than I did then, which always seems so impossible, but it's true.
First - please note the date on this, and accept my apology. Don't misunderstand this as a "you're the third child" thing - simply put, October kicked my ass and I honestly feel like I am just now, feeling caught up. This little letter was never far from my mind. Here I am, one month and two days late, to tell you that you are still pretty great and we are so proud of you.
So. What are you doing at two years old?
You are a chatting machine, speaking full sentences and clearly enough that most people can understand you. You rarely stop talking. Also, you whine kind of a lot. Um, please and thank you, stop doing that. 

 
oh this sour little face cracks me up

Your gross motor skills are out of this world. You can run fast and with coordination, you can do a full somersault, jump with two feet off the ground, leap like a frog, balance on one foot to put your boots on and climb, slide and swing with the best of them. Its INSANE to watch. I have to say, its impressive. How do we channel this so you stop using me as your personal jungle gym? Just asking!
You love babies. Real and fake. You are so gentle and kind to your "babies" (stuffies) and love to cart them around, talk to them, feed them, put them down for naps and just generally take care of them.
Your favourite tv show is Daniel Tigers Neighbourhood. You know that it comes on as soon as we drop the other kids off at school, and you use that as your personal tv time. It makes for a nice quiet half hour every morning.



You and food are best friends. You love to eat almost everything, with the exception of a lot of meat. Its very easy to feed you.
You formerly were a very good listener, but you have recently adopted a few bad habits from Maizey and Jace, so occasionally, your listening skills take a hit. It's definitely something we work on a lot.
You are still sleeping in your crib, even though you do know how to climb out. Most mornings you quietly play until someone comes to tell you that you are allowed to get up, at which time you climb out yourself. Sadly, last night, you decided you can get out whenever you want and chose 1:00am and 3:00am to do so. Tomorrow, your crib will be turned into a toddler bed and I would be lying if I said that it didn't make me (a little) sad. The end of the crib is definitely the final end to the baby stage. *wipes a single tear from my cheek*
You are working on potty training. You do very well, most days. Other days - your little stubborn side kicks in and my GOD you are stubborn. We will keep patiently and diligently working, but you are truly doing amazing at it.


taking her baby for a walk

You have the cutest little sense of humor and try to make us laugh, which is always fun to watch. You also love to copy the other kids, saying what they say after they say it. One of our favourite things to do as a family is listen to music together on Youtube, each of us taking our turn to pick a song. Without fail, after every song, Jace exclaims "MY TURN", even if it is not his turn. You picked this habit up, and always yell "MY TURN" ... it gets a good laugh out of us. We always let you choose your song by looking at the cover photo for the song. You for sure know your favourites, Saltwater Gospel by Eli Young Band, Always Be by Tim McGraw and May We All by Florida Georgia Line (which, no joke, has the saddest music video of all time). You ADORABLY announce before a lot of songs "I wuv this song. I really wuv this song" .... which is straight out of  my mouth. I am glad you picked up that saying rather than one of my other choice phrases. haha
You are free and easy with your love - you snuggle, give hugs and kisses, say "I wuv you" and gently hold hands all the time.







Winnie the pooper, we sure do love you. Dad and I quietly said to eachother just last night, while watching you and Maizey and Jace laugh and play together, that we can barely believe this is our life...that we created THIS. Three kids that actually really love one another and like to be together, with of course, the usual sibling bullshit thrown in there.
You are without a doubt, the absolute best addition we could have added.
You are so so so loved.
I can't wait to see what this next year brings for you and for us.
We love you baby girl. My hope for you is that you always feel it.
Happy second birthday.
xoxox
Love, Mom and Dad.

Happy Fifth Birthday, Jace!

Dear My Best Buddy,
Happy Happy 5th Birthday, my friend.
Five seems like a lot of years. I possibly say this about every age, but seriously, how have you been alive for five years?
This last year has held some of the absolute best moments with you. You have gone from a complete spaz to a reasonable little person that I can have a discussion with and we can finally agree on an acceptable outcome. You have certainly learned to use nice and calm words and you scream at me and Dad a whole lot less. The amount of relief I feel over this cannot be put into words. There were a lot of days where I was not sure how you and I were going to make it out on the other side of this.... but here we are and I am so grateful.



Starting Kindergarten has been one of the proudest and best things you have done. You were so completely ready to go and I was so happy for you. I know for sure that some of your new coping skills have been learned at school. You willingly get ready every morning, you happily ride your bike (almost) every morning with very little complaining and you simply smile, wave and walk into class. It is so amazing to see you thriving in that environment, and I love leaving you without feeling like I need to worry about you at all. I am so proud of you.
You love fruit and vegetables. You would be happy to eat a place of each for every meal. It is so easy to feed you. In fact, your favourite meal right now is spinach salad. Um, I have no idea how this happened, but I will not argue!



Your favourite songs are "You Look Like I Need A Drink" and "Humble and Kind" and "7 Years Old" . You always want to stay in the truck to listen to the end of whatever song is playing. I also like doing that, so I always oblige.
You are still a major tv fan. Its tough to get you to walk away from it, so we kind of have to super limit you. You love PJ Masks and The Lion Guard... actually, you love pretty much every show on Disney Junior. When you aren't watching those shows you love to play some version of them with Maizey. The two of you could play Lion Guard for hours. Its fantastic to see your imagination emerging.


 If this doesn't get you right in the heart, I don't know what will. My goodness. This slays me.

Over the last year you have become a lot less lazy and lot more willing to try hard things. Formerly, if it felt like you would have to put in even a little bit of effort, you absolutely would not try. Like, riding a two wheeler for example. You totally did it last summer, but occasionally you would stumble, so you quit trying altogether. This spring, you climbed on and rode away. I am so glad!
You also cannot be tricked into doing things you don't want to do. The age old trick of  "I bet you can't even *whatever whatever* anyways...." doesn't work. You just shrug and say "you're right, I can't". It's terribly frustrating to tell you the truth. Sometimes I just want you to be helpful. My hope is this will also evolve over time and one day I will just realize that suddenly, my years of harping at you will have paid off and you are super helpful. Lets see how that goes! haha.
I hear from your teachers that you are a really good friend. You are kind and helpful and nice to be around. I love hearing that so much. I see you interacting on the playground and know it is true.
You really love helping me bake, reading books by yourself and playing games. I try to make sure we do all of those things often.



I love your absolutely genuine smile and your really adorable dimples. I love giving you big hugs that last a super long time and I love hearing your giggle that comes straight from your guts. Its so infectious. You add so much laughter and fun to our family. You also make me border on crazy, but the truth is, without you, my days would be too quiet. I love you so much, my friend. I can't wait to see what this next year brings for us.
Happy 5th birthday Budski. You seem like a grown up now.

Love,
Mom and Dad.

Happy 7th Birthday Maizey Rae

Maizey, Maizey, Maizey.

7 YEARS OLD! Holy cow. I have been your mom for seven whole years and most of the time I still feel like I am just faking it, hoping one day I will become legit. But, obviously, I am not faking it and I am legitimately your mom and whoaaa, am I ever glad to be.
Not much has changed, you are still thoughtful and kind and happy and lovely. Maybe actually even more so. Truly, I do not know how you know to be so thoughtful... I thought that was like, a grownup skill that took years to learn. You, my friend, are pretty fantastic at it. Like, if we go to Home Hardware and they offer you a balloon at the checkout, before you take one you check to make sure that its alright to take one for your brother and sister as well. If they said no, you wouldn't take it. Its so kind and one of my absolute favourite things about you. We didn't teach you that, you just do it. My hope for you is that you never lose this and always remain kind hearted and thoughtful. Another grown up skill that you possess is tact. You can talk to people (adults) and get your point across or get what you need/want without being rude, and being straight to the point. I absolutely encourage this and really hope you don't lose this as well. Thats not an easy thing to learn and I feel so much pride when I see you exhibit it.



A few of your favourite things this past year: painting nails - yours, mine, Winnies, anyone that will let you. Monkey bars... you have some amazing grip strength and love to watch that America Ninja Warrior show. You even practice for it while at the playground. Currently, you work on "beating that wall" by climbing the slide over and over. Singing your favourite country song - You Should Be Here by Cole Swindell, as well as watching its (super sad) music video. Going for bike rides and to the skate park. Colouring and crafting - its never ending "artistic" messes over here. Playing "babies" with Winnie. Climbing the tree in our front yard - you fondly refer to it as "my tree". It barely scares me any more when you get insanely high, you are so confident in your ability to do it, that I have to be confident in your ability as well. Getting dressed fancy.... old flower girl dresses, or Winnies tiny shirts. Its makes me equal parts crazy and happy - you're having fun, but you make so much laundry. Its such a toss up for me. haha



You love Sushi and fries from Emos and chicken pot pie. You eat things you don't care for without a problem and remind Jace and Winnie that "dinner is not a choice" to encourage them to do the same. You love talking. Like, a lot. We have some fabulous conversations. I occasionally have to remind you that sometimes it's ok to not talk as well. ;) I also occasionally have to remind you to stop talking like a baby. Hooooly cow that makes me crazy. It's cute when Winnie says it, but we would like her to not say it like that for forever, so please stop talking like her so she can learn to say it properly. Please. PLEASE.
You had a bit of a tough transition to your new school last fall, but once it all fell into place, you did really well. You've made some wonderful school friends, as well as managed to maintain your previous friendships. It's a bizarre thing to watch you make your way in the (school) world. It's hard on my mama heart to watch you learn life lessons, but I am thankful that you still feel comfortable and confident enough to engage with us about school "stuff ". We hope we will always be able to keep these lines of communication open.
You are such a great big sister, not only to Jace and Winnie, but to Henry and probably Frankie when he gets bigger, and also every one younger than you that you come in contact with. You are helpful and patient and always willing to lend a hand. We feel 100% confident asking you to watch Winnie in the back yard, you are learning to be so responsible. It feels like such a big help and we are thankful for it.



Mostly, what I (we) want to tell you, is that we absolutely love the little girl that you are, and the bigger girl you are becoming. We are so  proud of you, of your heart and head and your strength and determination. You are certainly one of the good ones. This world, our world, is absolutely better because you are in it.
Happy 7th Birthday, Meem. We sure do love you.

Love, Mom and Dad

Happy First Birthday, Winnie The Pooh

Dear Winnie,
Happy first birthday, sweet girl.

You are the last baby we will have and the fact that this is the last first birthday we will celebrate for our kids has been like a lump in my throat all day. Seriously, how can you possibly be one already? Wasn't I just counting down the days until you would start eating food, or counting the months I had left of breastfeeding? Here we are - you eating anything and everything and showing no signs of stopping nursing. I just can't figure out how it goes so fast. "The days are long, the years are short" - it's startlingly true.

You have been walking for six weeks now and going down the stairs for about 3 weeks. Determined is the word I use to describe you. You climb in and out and on and off and up and down everything. You are not afraid and you are so strong. You climb the ladder and get onto the trampoline and you turned around and slid down the slide on your belly a few days ago, as though it was no big deal. You get bumps and bruises all the time but you don't let them slow you down. You currently have a healing goose egg on your forehead, a purple eye lid and a small red dot on each cheek. I only know for sure how one of them happened.

You have gotten incredibly chatty over the last month, babbling non-stop mixed in with words that we are pretty sure are real.
Mama
Dada
Yes
Whats that?
This
Hi dada (so cute, holding an old phone up to your ear)

You don't sleep all night - some nights not even close, others a bit better. Um, could you just start doing that soon please and thank you?!
You follow me everywhere I go and then sit or stand at my feet. You just like to be in close proximity to me most of the time. You don't usually need anything, you just like me to be there.
You still love a good snuggle. You lean in for the sweetest hugs and pat my back as we hug. I about burst from the sweetness of it.
You like to give kisses - they are very....slobbery.
You smile and giggle very easily for us. For others? Stone faced. You are a seriously tough nut to crack. But when you do? Your giggle is so stinkin' cute.
Every single diaper change is a wrestling match. It's actually not that fun, just so you know.
Dad says your favorite place to play is the stairs. I say your favorite thing to play with is stuffies, you just walk around hugging and kissing them and talking to them.
You make a run for any open door you see. Nobody is going to cage Winnie in.

You weighed 19lbs exactly at your one year check up. You really are small and it's almost bizarre watching all that you are capable of because it just seems like you shouldn't be able to do any of them given your size. You are this tiny little fierce walking machine.

We love you so so much little girl. I could never have imagine anything better than our life with you. You have a connection with both Maizey and Jace that is all you guys. It's different with both of them and it's all yours. It's amazing to watch. THEY love you so so so much. Sometimes a little too much and a little too touchy - they can't leave you alone literally ever. I think it pisses me and Dad off more than it does you. You admire them in a way I could only have dreamed about. Lets just hope this keeps up for years to come!

Happy first birthday sweet girl. I can't wait to watch how you grow and change and turn into the bigger kid you are going to be. I want to hear your voice and see you shine. Hopefully when we are both a bit more rested. haha - barely kidding.
We love you Winnie The Pooh (Winnie the pooper, Lady, ladybug), more than you will ever know.
Love,
Mama and Daddy.
xoxo

Summer Stuff

Jace: Dad, whats this?

Brian: That's a screw.

Jace: Oh be careful Dad, you don't want to screw yourself.

Brian: Don't worry, Buddy. I won't screw myself.

:::::::

We went to the wedding of one of my favourite people last week and all I wanted was a nice family photo.

This was the best of all of them.



It's probably the most accurate version of our current life so I think it should go up on the wall.

:::::::

(Jace standing in the kitchen waving his arms in a sweeping motion towards the counter)
"whats going on here? It's so... clean"

:::::::

Maizey: "Lets play Dads game. I don't know what it's called. But, it just goes like, lets see who can be the quietest for the longest time"

Brian: "Oh Maizey, thats a game that has been passed on by parents to their kids for many many years. And yes, lets play it."

Maizey: Ten seconds in - lets out a giggle. Stifles it. then another. and another. until it was uncontrollable giggling.

Brian: "well that was short lived"

:::::::

On a particularly  hot day last weekend (I'm sure it was +40), I stripped Winnie down and submerged her in the kiddie pool. She let out the cutest, tiniest sigh of relief and sat, submerged up her mid chest, very happily.  This heat wave has been intense, we are really just trying to get through it every day.

That Time Two Months Went By And I Barely Noticed

I basically just need to remember that if I say my plan out loud, the universe, or more accurately my children, make sure it won't happen. Which is why I am currently twitching slightly, licking boursin cheese straight from the foil wrapper and chugging wine. I'm pretty much at the end of my rope for today because it's 8:40 and only 33.3% of my children are sleeping despite the fact that I started bedtime over two hours ago.
I see it's been almost two months since I last posted here. Really, nothing interesting has happened, and there were no mile stones met by our baby any ways, so who cares, right? Just kidding. Lots happened and she pretty much broke down every single eight month old barrier there is, which is probably why I haven't had time to write anything down. Because I've been too busy trying to trap her back into that eight month old box she should be in, where she barely does the army crawl, eats only purees, and has no idea what stairs are, let alone climbs them.
Super quick bullet point post about our current situation, because by then I will have probably heard all the screaming I can handle and I will need to go back to the oven that is the upstairs to say one more time IF YOU DON'T GO TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN BUT IT'S GOING TO BE BAD I SWEAR. and then I will have to pick up the baby and rock her sweaty body to sleep, just like I have done every single night since October 7th, 2014.

Winnie:
Superb crawler.
Stair climber extraordinaire.
Loves food and gets annoyed if she does not have her own spoon to help with.
Giggles at the mere sight of Jace and Maizey but barely breaks a smile for anyone or anything else.
Except sometimes when I blow raspberries on her belly. But only if she's in the mood.
Hates going to sleep.
Loves staying asleep once she's finally there.
Crankiest teether in the history of ever.
Still almost no hair.
Snuggly little lady.
Loves the bathroom.
Can bust out of the bumbo chair, which means it's no longer safe for me to take a shower.
Confinement? oh hell no.
I'm not sure, but I think she says bye-bye. It's hard to tell. but definitely sometimes waves bye.
8 months old and clocking in at 16 pounds of pure determination. Nobody puts Winnie in a corner.
Currently goes by the nicknames Winnie the pooh, Lady and Ladybug.



Jace:
Cantaloupe addict.
Kinda lazy.
Working on using words rather than his body to get his point across. Currently climbing out of a four month long battle of wills from hell.  We are getting there.
Not a swim suit fan, so most days uses the pool in the buff.
Run biker. But I am confident if he would TRY, he would ride a two wheeler no problem.
Always hungry.
Obsessed with playing air guitar and singing A Guy Walks Into A Bar.
Takes a million selfies on my phone.
Wakes up before the crack of dawn every day.
Lover of look and find books. And is basically a genius at them.



Maizey:
Missing three teeth at this moment with one more very loose. It's like looking at someone else.
Biking fanatic.
Always always always wants to go on one more walk, one more bike ride, one more trip to the park.
Wants friends over all day every day.
Makes herself breakfast every day. And will make it for anyone else as long as they would like toast with butter or peanut butter.
Not too familiar with other peoples person space right now. Needs to be constantly reminded that No, I would not like her to brush my eyelashes with her fingers.
For some reason, cries for our old house a lot these days. Not sure what that is about.
A big help in making sure Winnie doesn't put random floor things in her mouth.
Always willing to help me. Run for this - go get that - shut the gate - stop Winnie - go out and look for whatever. Ahhh, almost six year olds are a dream. Most of the time. wink wink.



Brian:
At work literally every single day.
Tired.
Desperate to sell our boat. (Do you want to buy it?! Just message me. haha)

Me:
Wine. Always wine.
Tired.
oh, and now a proud bicycle owner. Its new, but looks old,. Her name is Lennie.


Its now 10:08 and one kid is still awake despite so many attempts at rocking. It's not awesome. She is very lucky she is so cute.

Tiny and Strong

This is the face of sheer determination and then pride.





My face is more like WTF? Stop it now. And, are you freaking kidding me, crawling? I can't. I just can't.

Winnie Turned Six Months. I Cried.

Dear Winnie,
Happy half birthday, sweet girl.
Where the heck have six months gone? I'm pretty sure I have only blinked a few times, and I know for sure that I have barely slept, yet here we are. Six months. Half a year is gone.
The last time I will have a six month old.
Literally every day I am torn between savoring every single one of these last moments with my last baby, and wishing it away. Wanting you to be bigger, older, doing more. The second I feel like that, I am torn back to wanting you to stay a baby forever, because god damn it, I just really love babies. I just really love YOU as a baby.



You are so snuggly. You could just sit in my arms and on my lap all day. You love to fall asleep laying on my chest and if I put my face up close to yours you gently lean in so we are face to face. If I had to pick one thing to keep forever, it would be the snuggling.
You started out so big and now you are so tiny. Barely breaking the 15th percentile. A whopping 13lbs 12 ounces yesterday at you six month appointment. So tiny, so sweet.
You started eating solid food last week and you're pretty so-so about it so far. You couldn't seem to care less. It's not that you are refusing to eat, it's just... you're like meh, I will just open my mouth this tiny bit, see how much you can get in. I think it's all the distractions. Maybe I should start feeding you when no one else is around.
You roll over like a champ and definitely prefer to be on your belly pushed up on your arms, looking around. You can spin around and push yourself around on the floor. I don't think it's super intentional yet, but the strength is there, so I imagine it's coming soon. You started sitting up with little to no assistance just this past weekend and are getting sturdier and sturdier every day. You also prefer to sleep on your belly (and only in your crib. theres barely a carseat nap to be had these days), you roll yourself over in the night and sleep wayyyy more soundly. You are still the quiestest sleeper in the history of ever and it continues to freak me the freak out. It's not normal Winnie, people make sounds when they are sleeping, you know, like breathing sounds. WHERE ARE ALL THE BREATHING SOUNDS WINNIE? No, seriously?! But that leads to my next thought. What happened to all the glorious, wonderful, long, restful nights we used to have? What happened to you? To that? TO US? I gotta tell ya, this 3, 4, 5 times waking up at night? It's killing me. Stop it. Stop it now. Once? Twice even. But FIVE? How about no. Okay, glad we cleared that up.



You have two cute little bottom teeth and we have been patiently waiting for one on the top to cut through. Except it hasn't been patiently, it's been a lot of screaming and fevers and face rashes and crying. Some of the crying even comes from you. Anwyays, I've always hated that bitch the tooth fairy and now I hate her more. She makes you miserable. I hope it cuts through soon so you can go back to your happy self.
You currently love chewing on blankets, pulling my hair, gently touching my face and giggling when we surprise you. You formerly loved being carried on me, but surprisingly you have started to love the stroller too. You seem immune to noise because Jace screams literally in your ears (not on purpose, he's a loud talker) and you barely even blink. You don't love being left alone in a room and make it quite clear that we have done so. You don't like baths, but sure do love a shower.
You are so loved. It feels like you have been around forever. Maizey adores being a big sister to you, distracting you and holding you. She can make you happy most of the time and we often comment what a great sister she is. Jace also adores you, and besides the odd time that he gives you trouble for touching him, he likes to share his most sacred toys with you and climbs into your bed every morning just to check if you are awake, which you never are so he always wakes you up. It's equally infuriating and adorable. haha.
I want to remember these days with you. The way you look at me when I am feeding you and how even after you finish eating, you just like to lay across my lap in peace for awhile. The way you truly just need me (and a little bit daddy, but mostly just me). The way you smile and giggle and scream bloody murder. Your tiny little wrist creases,  and your deep and long thigh creases. Your raspberry blowing face, your ridiculously and beautifully long eye lashes and your bascically bald and perfectly round head. The way you are my last baby and I won't get these moments back and how precious this time with you really is.



Happy half birthday Winnie the pooh.
We cannot imagine our lives without you.
We love you. SO much.
Love, Mama and Daddy

(New) Home

Well. It happened. Obviously.
We moved. It's already been five weeks.
If you have talked to me at all in these last weeks you have probably heard me say things like "oh, it's coming" "yes, it feels good. well, I mean, it will feel good, right now it feels like hell haha kidding" "Ya, we've sort of run out of steam, so we are just living in a mess, but it will get there. I know, I'm not worried" "It's fine".
That was me trying to trick myself into being positive.
The truth is, I have been a negative nancy since we moved in. In fact, Brian actually felt the need to say to me I wish you would just stop focusing on all the negative shit. Naturally, I didn't react that well to that, but five little minutes of quiet reflection and I was like Oh ya, I have been a total asshole. 
First, I'm just going to go ahead and quickly complain about all the shit that I have been complaining about. The disgusting carpets - fml. The absolutely hideous wall paper headboard and brass sconces that adorn the master bedroom wall that make me want to throw up in my mouth every time I make eye contact with it. The cobwebs and the fact that the previous people didn't clean at all. Like, not even a tiny bit. Other peoples filth - fuuuuccckkkk. *shudder*. Who builds a house slightly turned on the lot? I mean, do you hate symmetry or something? Why can't we figure out the heat? It's boiling hot, it's freezing cold, we can't win. Who designed the light switches? None of them make sense. It's annoying. What color are these walls, faded pepto bismal pink? If they had asked anyone, they would have been told that the color was never nice. Not back then, not now. Fake brick lino that still looks brand new even though it's over 30 years old? Ok, thats kind of impressive. Ugly, but impressive. Who puts carpet in the dining room slash the only room big enough for our kitchen table? Obviously not the person who has to clean it, thats for sure. Hunter green trim - what in the actual fuck were you thinking?

Ok, ok, I'm sure there's more, but I can't think of it right now, so I will call that "progress" and move on. Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Because you know what? This last week, I have turned a major corner. I walked in a few days ago and it smelled like us. It smelled like home. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace, like I didn't want to go "home" any more, I finally, finally, felt like maybe I WAS home.
I had at least as hard of a time leaving our other house as I expected. Maybe worse actually. One day I will write it out, how ever emotional and vulnerable I will feel, because I think it's good to feel those feelings and I want to one day look back on that and remember what it felt like and to see how far I've come since that day.

The gross pink walls are still gross, the carpet is awful and don't even get me started on the bidet. Oh did I mention there's a bidet? Ya, be jealous. ha. but also know that it's going, however much of a conversation starter it is, and however wonderful they apparently are to use *ahem, not that anyone has tried it*  it's not sticking around taking up prime bathroom real estate. We have mostly got the heat figured out and I have never been more appreciative of the fact that we own a Dyson (LIFE. SAVER.). It's mostly clean now - I mean, I only have so many hours a day to spend washing walls and wiping baseboards and vacuuming screens and windowsills, so the rooms we use, those are done, the rest, well, I will get there. I know the "problems" (complaints is probably a better word) are mostly cosmetic and I know one day it will all be re-finished and nice and new again. That's the problem with leaving a place that you have already re-done and LOVE, and going to a place that has potential. Thats what we kept saying - it's not nice now, but it for sure has potential to be a fantastic house. I just needed a few weeks to remind myself of the potential we saw when we first looked at it.

Sitting on the floor beside the stove playing games, reading books, hanging out, thats pretty great. The yard, the deck, the two floors of windows, however slightly turned they may be - all amazing, and definitely things to appreciate. Giant old trees surrounding us, the flats not more than 100 steps from our door, a quiet cul de sac with only two other houses. Sitting at the head of the table and not seeing any other houses. Those are just a few of the great things about living here and calling this place home.
We are (mostly) settled in and love company even more, now that we have room for you!

Five More Days

We move out of our home in five days.

At any given second, I can start to cry over it. I can also become elated at finally, FINALLY! not living on top of one another. It's basically a risk talking to me right now.

I can be going along, packing away and then boom! I find this on a shelf and I am a weepy mess.



Brian said to me today do you realize this is our last Saturday night in this house? and then five short seconds later he was all oh, sorry for making you cry. 

It's fine. I will be fine. The  new house part is exciting. Super exciting in fact. It's just the leaving here part that is sad and hard.

The list of things I need to do just seems to keep growing. If there was ever a thing that would be self cleaning, I would think it was the washing machine. It's not, so I added it to my list. My list is still long, but I am certain it will stop growing and start to get smaller soon. Right? Five short days and it will all be over. In the meantime, just be, like, kind of cautious around me. I am sort of a ticking time bomb.

What Day Is It?

So many things to write, so little time, so little head space to even attempt to put coherent thoughts down.

I asked my friend Paola yesterday if it was the first of the month, since she was going in to do payroll. "Yes, Amy" is what she replied, "It's December 1st tomorrow". And then we laughed and laughed and laughed. So that's basically where I am at right now.

A few days ago I asked Jace to pass me my phone so I could check what time it was. He picked it up and pushed the button then put his index finger to his lips and said "Hmmm, I think it says it's time for me to watch Super Why on your phone". That is an exact time, in case you didn't know.

If I sit down at the table to eat any meal, automatically Winnie starts crying. This morning while sound asleep in her bouncy chair, Jace walked by holding a small pumpkin and out of nowhere lost his grip and dropped it on her. Literally, on her. She didn't even move, just kept sleeping away. I mean, what the fuck Winnie?

We were given the book called "The True Story Of The 3 Little Pigs" which is the story of the three little pigs from the wolfs perspective. We have had it for awhile but it was hidden on the book shelf so we hadn't read it. Maizey found it and chose it as her bed time story, it is a fantastic book, if you haven't seen or read it, go find it! Anyways, in the book the wolf claims that he is trying to bake a birthday cake for his Granny and needs to borrow a cup of sugar, which is why he is knocking on the pigs doors. Well, the third pig denies him the cup of sugar, tells the wolf not to bother him again AND yells at him "AND YOUR OLD GRANNY CAN SIT ON A PIN". I finished the story and closed the book when Maizey turned to me with tears running down her face. She was so sad that they wouldn't give him the sugar and that the last pig told him that his granny should sit on a pin. My postpartum hormones just can't handle things like that, so obviously, I started to cry too. What an asshole pig.

I had planned to post some pictures, so obviously Winnie just woke up. Oh well, I suppose there is always next week. 

SOLD!

Ten years ago we moved into this house.
We were 21 year old kids that couldn't afford to hook up both cable AND internet, so we had to choose one or the other. We went with internet. Two months after we moved in we ran out oil, which was how the house was heated and we scraped together the minimum we needed for the guy to come and put some in. It was a cold two days before he came. There was a constant flow of people through the door. We woke up many mornings with friends passed out on the couch that were not there when we went to bed the night before. We had big renovation plans to take out a wall between the only bedroom and a little tiny room beside it. We watched "Friends" on a never ending loop on VHS, then on DVD, which is obviously  how we learned to speak entirely in "Friends" quotes.There were New Years Eve parties, botched halloween mowhawks, the infamous raw garlic night, the shoes hanging from the power line out front, drink all day days ( we were kids. what can I say?!), Canada Day bbq's. So many memories. So much laughing.
We partied a lot. One night on our walk home from the bar we came across a lost and lonely Coopers shopping cart so naturally I climbed in and Brian pushed me home. That shopping cart sat in our carport for years - we talked often about loading it up and taking it back, but for some reason never got around to it. Then we ripped the carport down and the cart got moved to behind the shed. It sat there for three more years. In the meantime, Coopers got new shopping carts so we couldn't return it. This past spring when readying the house to be listed, we put it in the back of the truck to take it to the dump. All the time I cursed that cart and the fact that it was still laying around here, but when it came time to unload it at the dump I was over come with emotion. It was one of the last reminders of one of the funnest times in my life and leaving it in the metal pile marked the real end of an era.


purely out of nostalgia, I climbed in at the dump. My husband was equal parts more in love and completely embarrassed. haha

We poured every cent and all of our blood sweat and tears into this house. 
We got engaged in this house, we got married in this house, we brought all our babies home to this house.


bringing Maizey home


bringing Jace home


bringing Winnie home

We watched first steps and heard first words here. We spend sleepless nights in this living room soothing crying kids.
We put up a tiny little Charlie Brown Christmas tree our first Christmas here as a couple and this year we will put up our final one in this house as a family of five. 

A sold sign went up on Friday afternoon.

I know I should be happy, and eventually I will be, but for now, I can barely say the words without feeling weepy.

The truth is we outgrew this house a long time ago. We have been bursting at the seams for years. We need to move on, but I am just so shitty at change and this is a big one.

We bought it as broke twenty something year old kids.
We sold it as (a little) less broke thirty something year old family.

I am really going to miss this place.

Meet Winnie

The snuggliest of all the snugglers.
Already too big for her sleepers.
Quietest sleeper in the history of ever.
The biggest of all three, but still so tiny.
Longest fingers and tiniest feet.
The most hair that is super dark. (Weird).
Six hour stretch sleeper.
The cutest little tiny sigher.
 Longest eyelashes.





The sweetest baby sister.

Winnie James
8lb 3oz
20 inches
October 7, 2014

Absolutely perfect.

Three Years Old

Dear Jace,

Three years ago right now, I was going on 13.5 hours of labor. I was tired of waiting. I wanted to meet you. I still had five hours to go....
I blinked and these last three years went by. Every day you reveal more of the little man you are going to be and shed more of the little boy that you are.

You started pre school a few weeks and yesterday I got to go and spend the day with you there. It was truly amazing to see how you are when you are there. You can be soooo rotten at home and to me and Dad and Maizey, but the little person I saw I at school was nothing like that. You listened, did as you were asked, took part in the singing and circle time. You used kind words and shared and played so well with your classmates. I have noticed a real change in you over the last few weeks and now I can say that I have preschool to thank for that. Maybe it gave you something that is all yours and that has caused this change, maybe it's just having time away from us.... I don't know, but seriously Buddy, you are doing SO well at it. I could not be more proud of you.

Just for a second, back to the part where you are so rotten. One day I hope you will have an answer for me as to why you act like this, but seriously, why do you scream at me (us)? Why do you pretty much NEVER do as I ask? Why are you so freaking defiant? I think you want a reaction from us, that's why you do it, so I (we) really try our best not to give you one, but sometimes, it's just too hard. I keep telling myself it's just a phase. I hope so, we are really ready for it to be over.

The times when you are not being bad? You are so fun! You make us laugh with a raise of your eyebrows, your "blinking", your attempts to sing songs and quote movies. You don't get them right, but it is so cute and so hilarious to see you sing so seriously. Your current favorite song is 'Thats What Makes You Beautiful' by One Direction. Your favorite line in the song goes "the way you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed" - your version? "flips over gets on your web" sang at the absolute top of your lungs. I need to try and sneak a video of it, it is so great. I bet we listen to that song 15 times a day. You want it played over and over and over.

Your friend Deken has a bit of a Batman obsession, and loves to wear a Batman costume all the time. A few weeks ago, you started pretending to be Buzz Lightyear, jumping off everything you could, yelling 'TO INFINITY! AND BEYOND!" and asking to watch the Toy Story movies every single day. Well, Deken just happened to have a Buzz costume as well, and a few days ago while at his house, Deken put on Batman and you put on Buzz. I almost died at the cute. When it was time to go, you had a fit over taking the costume off and Paola graciously let you borrow it. It is the first thing you ask about in the morning and the last thing you talk about at night. You are obsessed, just like your friend Batman. I mean Deken. The two of you can be super heros together.

You still eat a lot of apples. You help yourself to any that are in the fruit bowl. You are a constant eater these days actually, except at dinner... then you make me feed you like a baby. You eat nonstop until I want you to eat, then you refuse. You aren't picky and for the most part, really enjoy everything I give you. Besides apples, your other favorite is hummus. Hummus with everything, even just on your finger straight out of the bowl when I'm not looking. Off the top of my head, the only thing I can think that you actually don't like eating at all is sour cream.

There is no one you would rather play with than Maizey. When the two of you are jumping on the trampoline, or making cookies out of mud, or running your homemade obstacle course, you have so much fun together. When you aren't pushing each others buttons, you are totally little best friends. I love listening from a distance when you guys are having so much fun together.

It took you almost all of the last year to master holding two fingers up, just in time to start needing to hold three up, but that one you've already got down pat. You have so been looking forward to your birthday and have been announcing to us for weeks that it was your birthday. You listened well enough to us, to be able to tell people that you were two, almost three. It was super cute to hear you copy that. You wanted a rocket ship cake, but my expert cake making skills seriously lacked in the rocket department, so Dad designed a rocket ship out of m&m's on the top of the cake and you LOVED it. I'm assuming the idea came from wanting to be Buzz Lightyear and I'm so glad Dad pulled through for you.

I honestly can hardly believe three years has gone by since you were born. You have brought so much love and laughter to our family. With the arrival of your new baby brother or sister coming very soon, I am noticing just how much of a baby you are no longer. You have been a bit indifferent about the idea of a baby ever since we told you, but the last month or so you have started to take an interest in my belly and what is inside it. You like to sit beside me and rest your hand waiting to feel a kick, but truth be told you don't have the patience to wait for one. You give the baby kisses and hugs even though you often remind us that you don't care for kisses or hugs anymore. I am so looking forward to watching you as a big brother, I think you are going to be great!

Happy 3rd Birthday Buddy. We love you so much and can't wait to see what this next year brings for you. Keep making us laugh, and just for fun, every now and then, could you just do as I ask? Please?!

Love, Mom and Dad

Old Maid

The last two days we have been playing a lot of Old Maid. A LOT. Obviously Jace doesn't know how to play, but he is happy to sit beside me and hold the pairs that I pass him. He calls every stack of cards he holds "three dollars" and thinks that getting the Old Maid is super exciting. Maizey giggles the whole time, I think she feels like she's pulling a fast one on him since he likes getting the Old Maid. Last night after dinner, they sat at the kitchen table and she tried to teach him how to actually play and I listened with one ear while doing the dishes. She is so patient, it kills me. If only I had a fraction of that patience. Every time she told him to pick a card from her hand he asked her to point out which one was the Old Maid. She would giggle and tell him she couldn't say and that he had to just pick one. He was a bit let down every time he didn't get it and very excited when he finally did. The game fell apart after a few short minutes and the cards were left scattered all over the table and floor. Still listening with one ear, Jace followed Maizey around the house with the Old Maid in his hand telling Maizey that he "loves the Old Maid" and "She not a super spooky bitch. She a nice bitch" . I was suddenly listening with both ears! Um, what the??? Oh, you mean WITCH??
I didn't correct him, he has a habit of saying the word you don't want him to say, even more when you tell him not to. Plus, I know he was just making a mistake and he really does know the word is WITCH.
I laughed and laughed, quietly to myself.

Preschool Time For Jace

Today was Jaces first day of preschool. If you know Jace, you know that at any given second he can be excited about something or 100% against it - no matter how exciting it is. The lead up to today has been exactly that - one minute he is so excited to go, the next he is arguing that he isn't ever going and that its only Deken that is going actually. So I wasn't exactly sure how today was going to go.
Him and I argued for almost the whole two hours we were up this morning before we had to leave for school. About everything. Breakfast, clothes, shoes, tv.... you name it, we argued about it. I kept silently reminding myself that soon, very soon, I was going to get a break from him and the arguing. We got out the door and to the school on time. He marched ahead of Maizey and me to the door and I had to call him back outside to take a picture.



This morning, at that moment, he was sooo excited. Walking down the hall to his class he started to get a bit nervous and reached for my hand, which has happened exactly zero times in his whole life. He was suddenly nervous, I felt it in his grip. I happily obliged to the hand holding. We hung up his sweater and backpack, showed him the bathroom and then he sat down at the play dough table. I took a few pictures and we said goodbye.



He barely even looked at us. We walked out the door and my eyes filled with tears. My baby is old enough for preschool. It kills me. I held the tears in until the truck and then I couldn't stop them. I'm inclined to blame my ridiculous pregnant hormones. I wondered aloud why I was crying when all I wanted all morning was a break from him. He can be such a little shit and he yells at me ALL. THE. TIME. but really, no matter how crazy he makes me, I am going to miss him. My Buddy, it's going to be so quiet and so much less messy when he isn't home all morning, it's hard for me to imagine it.



He was exhausted when we picked him. He was pretty chatty and filled us in on what he did. He's going to like school and eventually, I'm going to like dropping him off there.
Happy 1st day of school, Buddy. Can't wait for you to start bring home messy art projects and hand made Mothers Day cards.